


The Man from Gallifrey

by Lady of Spain (ladyofspain7)



Series: Tales of the TARDIS [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13604040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofspain7/pseuds/Lady%20of%20Spain
Summary: The TARDIS goes haywire, and the Doctor unknowingly lands on earth, in La Push. Leah spots the box and investigates. Before he can talk to her, she shifts. After shifting back to human, she tells him his location. Intrigued with her, he invites Leah to go traveling with him. This changes both of their lonely lives.





	1. Prologue: Who Are You?

  

  

Banners by LOS

**. . . . .**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who  
%%%%%

 

I’d been alone in my travels for nigh on six months now, and missed the association with a human companion. The distractions of intergalactic travel were in no way substitutes for friendly conversation, and the craving to be touched. Human females, I found, fit the bill nicely. And then, right before my eyes was a human-female-someone who possibly could fill that need.

In more than 900 and then some years, I had never encountered such a woman. I had just stepped out of the TARDIS, staring her in the face, and she stood her ground without batting an eye. She didn’t seem a bit frightened at all. How could that be? She witnessed my landing here, and once I called to her, she didn’t turn away screaming.

Her eyes narrowed, and she nearly growled, “Before I say anything else … Who do you think you are, coming here like this?”

I gave her my stock answer, “I’m the Doctor.”

“Dr. Who?”

“Exactly!”

My new friend straightened to her full height, which was nearly as tall as me. “Exactly who or _what_? I detected two heartbeats.”

“Brilliant! Aren’t you the clever one! And how did you come to that conclusion, although it’s certainly correct? By the way, I haven’t properly introduced myself.” I extended my hand. “Hello, I’m the Doctor.”

She brushed my hand aside. “We’ve already established that. Doctor …”

“Just the Doctor. And you are?”

“I’m one of the protectors of my people on this rez, so you better behave, spaceman. I can get very testy, very fast.

_I believe she means it._

Would she accompany me, I wondered? She looked like the adventurous type, if her attitude was any indication. I crossed my fingers that loneliness would be abolished for a while.

**. . . . .**

Several hours earlier:

Have the bloody axial stabilizers gone wonky? The nav computer developed an annoying glitch, a couple of light years ago, and bish-bosh, now this? The TARDIS was wobbling, willy-nilly, completely out of control. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my trusty sonic screwdriver. Waving it around at the troublesome spot, it proved useless. What?

She continued to shimmy and shake, and I got tossed about, arse over elbow, landing on my bum on the cold floor. Now … now, I was really getting narked. “Oi! Come on, hen, hold it together for me.”

This called for desperate measures. I stood, bracing myself against the wall, dusted off my trousers, and unsteadily slid across the corridor to my tool cabinet. Ah ha, there it was … the if-all-else-fails tool: my sledgehammer. I pulled it down from the shelf and swayed like a bladdered sailor, heading toward the central control console.

Pulling back my arm, I began banging on anything in my path. Blimey, on the fourth pass, the TARDIS plummeted sharply and touched down … somewhere, or more correctly, some-when. I hadn’t the foggiest notion where in the universe I had just landed. One hour ago, I had been minding my p’s and q’s in the Septimus sector of the Quanga Goda binary star system, and then she began acting strangely—juddering and lurching spastically, much as a marionette being manipulated by a puppeteer suddenly struck by a tazor. Ah well, a new day, a new adventure, I always say, and I always say that because … I’m the Doctor.

 

%%%%%

What in the world was that? I was out stretching my legs along the cliffs when a big blue object literally dropped outta the sky, making a gawd-awful whooshing noise like some rusty organ. Why is it always me? Why couldn’t this phenomenon have taken place when Jake or Paul, or even Sam, were out here? But, nooooo! Leah Clearwater had to be the one to experience a close encounter with a big, blue, wooden box—a box that coincidentally just _fell_ kerplunk, onto the rez.

Being a protector of out tribe, it was my duty to make sure there was no danger presented to my people. Walking forward to see what exactly had landed, I read the words printed in English above the door: Police Public Call Box. Damn, had the werewolves of London arrived?

Creeping closer, I sniffed the air. The scent seemed human at least. I jerked, startled, when I heard a creak, and saw the door standing ajar, a red sneaker jutting out. One long leg, in brown and blue pin-striped pants followed the sneaker. A head then appeared, with spiky brown hair, and big eyes … not the kind you see on a grey alien, tho’. I’ve never seen one of those either, but after today, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if I did. Good thing I was okay with weird.

% % % % %

The atmospheric sensor plate was still functional. Ah, good … oxygen, nitrogen, and sea salt? Wind at twenty miles per hour, temperature at 38 degrees Fahrenheit. The TARDIS information system screen began beeping. In bold, neon-green letters, it read: _Don’t forget your trench coat, Doctor._

“Wouldn’t leave home without it.”

Whistling, I headed toward the room where I kept all my clothing. I grabbed my coat, shrugging into it, then, sticking my head out the door, took a deep breath of good ol’ fashioned air, without a hint of pollution.

We were on a hill overlooking a seascape. The waves were crashing against the shore which was littered with what seemed hundreds of denuded pine logs. This definitely wasn’t merry old England. What planet had I arrived on, anyway?

I ventured outside the protection of my starship. Turning my head, that was the moment when I saw—her; a beautiful woman with dark hair and skin the color of burnished copper. Her lithe figure had come creeping nearer until I spotted her. She jerked, and my stars, she shook violently and erupted like a kernel of popping corn into a giant, grey wolf.

Would you look at that! Top banana, this wolf was the fastest, and biggest I’d ever seen, and that included the wolf packs of Clementus II. What sort of creatures inhabited this place, that they could transform themselves into animals at will?”

As she raced away from me, I yelled, “Hold on ... What planet is this?”

The wolf halted, her paws throwing out clods of dirt and grass behind her. Cautiously, she backtracked, her eyes focused squarely on me.

“You’re not going to eat me are you? Oh, that’s good to know. Well, I’m not going to eat you either. I’m a vegan for the most part. I do eat eggs though, scrambled, deviled, hard-cooked, and omelets. Love omelets.”

I took a breath and brushed my hands together. “Now that it’s all settled, where am I?”

_You’re a space traveler, and you don’t know where you are? You’re on earth._

“Earth?”

_Listen up, spaceman, isn’t that what I just told you?_

“Ooh, a feisty one you are, eh? It’s just that I’ve never seen such a creature having the capacity for a spontaneous metamorphosis as yourself.”

_Gawd, just what I needed, an intellectual space hobo, who reads minds. Someone get me a dictionary and a broom. Get outta my head!_

The wolf began padding away and slid behind the TARDIS. When she appeared again, she had returned to her human form, muttering all the way in Quileute.

I asked her what her name was in her own language, then said, “I’m the Doctor and you are?”

A gasp escaped her lips. “You speak Quileute?”

“Nah, not actually. She translates everything in my head.”

“She?”

“Oh, I guess, I didn’t explain. Blimey, but it’s cold out here. Wouldn’t you like a nice cup of tea and a bit of cake inside where it’s warmer?”

“Fat chance, Doctor. Just stay where you are, don’t make any sudden moves, and we’ll get along just fine.”

I leaned against the door of my home away from home—my only home in fact, and rapped my knuckles on her wooden sides.

“Well then, this is she, the TARDIS, my spacecraft if you will, a type 40, Mark I TT Capsule. We’re connected telepathically. She’s what you might call my soul mate, or brain mate or whatever.”

“So, you’re from another planet?”

My eyes rose to the sky, while I reminisced. “Ah, yes, in a galaxy far, far, away, in the constellation, Kasterborous. My home planet of Gallifrey was destroyed in the last Time War. I’m the only one of my species left alive. You’re looking at the last of the Gallifreyan Time Lords. Ever since its destruction, I’ve traveled among the stars in time and space.”

I sighed, the images of my beautiful planet weaving through my mind. “Ah, yes, far, far away, however, I never met any storm troopers …” I scrunched up my nose. “… unless of course, you count the cybermen or the Daleks as such. But, as I was saying, I never met Solo, Vader, or Princess Lea.”

“It so happens that my name is Leah.”

“Reeeeaaaaally! Leah what?”

“No, not what—Leah Clearwater.”

“Hmn … Native American?”

“As opposed to extraterrestrial, yeah.”

Nodding, I grinned at her. “Glad to meet you, Leah Clearwater.”

Rolling her eyes, she declared, “I’m not sure I’m glad to meet you, ET.”

Shaking my head, I continued smiling at her. “Oh, but you will be.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she huffed.

% % % % %

Conceited, much … The Doctor, or whoever the hell he, or it was, gestured behind him to his so-called spacecraft. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but …fancy a trip in the TARDIS?”

“No offense, but if I get upset and phase, your TARDIS will burst apart at the seams.”

His eyebrows tipped up, and looking rather smug, he leaned one elbow on the door. “I doubt that, but come see for yourself.”

“If you say so, but this box is barely big enough to fit you, let alone, me and my alter ego. It’s your funeral tho’, so lead on, spaceman.”

**. . . . .**

Reason whispered that I might regret this, but curiosity got the better of me, and so there I was following the arrogant, yet charming traveler.

All at once, he whipped around, facing me. “Before I unlock the door, I don’t want you to be nervous, after all, I am an alien.”

“Pfht! I’m not nervous. You try to abduct me, and I’ll rip that head of yours, clean off your shoulders.”

His eyes widened, and his bottom lip pouched outward. “Good plan.”

The Doctor rummaged around in the pocket of his trench coat and retrieved a slender, cylindrical device, which he held up for my viewing pleasure. “Sonic screwdriver,” he explained. “The lock’s been sticking lately. Watch your eyes now … It may send off a few, nasty, ionic particles.”

With a whirring sound, little appendages poked out, the head of the screwdriver began to rotate, and a glow shone from it. I heard the click as the tumblers fell away. He pushed open the door and put out his palm indicating that I should step inside. “Ah, there we go. Ladies before Time Lords.”

  

 

 

 

 


	2. A Sprinkling of Fairydust

  

 

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

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I waited to hear her gasp. That was usually the response I got when the door opens, and they step through into wonderland. Not so with Leah. She acted as though this was an everyday occurrence.

“Smoke and mirrors,” she muttered. “Or this is all a hallucination; a Jedi mind trick.”

A skeptic—my newly found friend was a skeptic.

“No, I assure you. It’s dimensionally transcendental.”

Scowling at me, she snarked, “You said the TARDIS translates in your head. What about my head? Translate for me.”

“Alright then, when you step into the TARDIS, you step out of your own reality, and into another, through the dimensional tear in space. In other words, it’s bigger on the inside.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so? Your words made no sense at all.”

“Excuse me, I’m making perfect sense. You’re just not keeping up.”

Her mouth snapped shut.

“I’m being honest.”

“All right then, where’s my tea and crumpets?”

“Coming right up. Wait here.”

**. . . . .**

This woman was like no other I had ever met before, not only beautiful, but quick-witted, intelligent and fearless. Who else would agree to enter the TARDIS with a Gallifreyan Time Lord on first encounter? Blimey, but I had to get to know her better, and what better way, than to go gallivanting around the galaxies.

We finished up our tea, and Leah kept her eyes trained on me the whole time. And what eyes! _The better to see you, my dear, said the big bad wolf._

I was used to all this quiet, since being on my own, but not when I had an engaging woman at my table. Her staring made me a little uncomfortable as well. I finally uttered, “What?”

“That’s my question. What comes next?” she snapped at me.

“Well, you never did answer _my_ question. I haven’t had a traveling companion in quite some time. Will you come with me?”

“Hold on, ET. How do I know you’ll return me to earth?”

“Because I always do. Trust me. I’m the Doctor.”

“I know, you keep saying that. Look, I’m not going anywhere, until I find out more about you.”

“All right with me. Sensible, that. Shoot.”

“First off, why do you call your spacecraft—and I use that term loosely—the TARDIS?”

“It’s an acronym. Time and Relative Dimension in Space.”

“Come again?”

The TARDIS can travel anywhere, and in any time.”

“Go onnn … no one can possibly travel in time.”

“Oh yes, it’s very possible. You see, people assume that time is a progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of timey, wimey stuff.”

Those deep, dark eyes flashed. “Whatever … now I’ve seen and heard everything.”

“Think you’ve seen it all? Think again. Outside those doors, we might see anything. We could find new worlds, terrifying monsters, impossible things. And if you come with me, nothing will ever be the same again.

“I’m saying, you come with me, and you’ll have the time of your life. Admit it, things here on the rez are dreadfully boring when compared to what’s out there in the wild blue yonder.”

“Okay, I’ll call your bluff. If I agree to go with you, where would we go?”

“Everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was. Where do you want to start, so I can enter the coordinates into the nav computer?”

She walked around in a circle, her hands flat on the top of her head. “This is crazy … _I_ must be crazy. I just met you for gawd’s sake.”

“I know, isn’t spontaneity wonderful?”

“So, should I pack?”

“Nah … no need. The TARDIS is equipped with hygiene products, and I have centuries’ worth of some really posh frocks in the wardrobe. I’m sure some are bound to fit. Or we can use the replicator to spit out some new duds.”

“Hmn … How convenient.”

“Go take a look. I’m certain there are oodles of appropriate attire for you, and some totally … _inappropriate_ —my personal favs, by the way.”

% % % % %

He wasn’t just whistling Dixie. I found the room, with a closet bigger than my house, crammed with all sorts of clothes from all sorts of eras. It would take me weeks to try them all on. Note to self: _I should wear the ugliest of the bunch whenever I feel the possible need to phase_. Mr. Spaceman didn’t have pockets deep enough to keep me dressed in style.

I sneaked in a couple of peeks at the bedrooms, all three of them—very nice, simple but nice, in muted shades of blue and lavender. A large dresser stood against one wall, and also, a small nightstand in each of them. There were even holographic windows with draperies.  Two of the rooms contained twin beds, and one, a Queen size. I didn’t want to think about the reason for it, so I pushed that thought aside.

When I returned to the central control area, the Doctor was pounding on the instrument panel with a hammer.

“What the hell are you doing? I thought you said we were taking off on a voyage to outer space.”

“Yeeeeaaaah … About that, I guess I failed to mention that the axial stabilizers, and the nav computer are both non-functional at the moment. So first I have to make a few repairs.”

My voice rose. “With a sledgehammer?”

“Sometimes I have to get rough with her.”

“My gawd, you’re a maniac, and this heap is nothing but a worthless pile of junk. Would it help if I sprinkled some fairy dust on her?”

He began waving his hands about, patting at the air. “Oi, earthgirl, shh, shh, shh, you’ll hurt her feelings. My ship possesses a degree of sentience, and don’t you forget it!”

“Just my luck, I meet a space traveler who can’t move an inch, let alone fly a million miles away. What kind of alien are you?”

“The kind that is going to impress you with my mechanical skills.”

“Now, you sound like Jacob Black.”

He looked up from the thingamajig he was working on. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Hell, no; absolutely not. He’s more of a brother. He is a freakin’ genius tho’ when it comes to engines. You want me to go get him to help you?”

“A bit late for that. I’m almost done. If you please, can you get me the hydro-spanners from my tool cabinet?”

“Where’s the cabinet?”

Pointing in the general direction behind him, he said, “It’s on the right, at the end of the hall.”

“And just what does a hydro-spanner look like?”

“Well, it’s a curved piece of metal with a proton refractor at one end.”

I stood there like an imbecile. “A what?”

“Never mind. Just stand here and hold this crescent wrench on the bolt joining the ionic fuel cable to the time vortex.”

“And if it slips?”

The Doctor changed places with me, being careful not to jiggle the wrench. “Well, it could be the last thing you ever do. Oh, and word of warning—don’t ever, and I mean ever, look into the time vortex.”

What the hell was the time vortex? “Why not?’

“Trust me, it would be bad.”

**. . . . .**

The Doctor ran back into the room as if his pants were on fire, and nudged me aside. We exchanged places once more after the man did whatever it was to fix the sick bird.

That Dr. Who-grin appeared again, and he blared, “Brace yourself. Allons-y!”

He pulled back on a lever, and that weird noise cut through the air. The TARDIS lurched violently for a moment, knocking both of us off our feet, and died two seconds later.

His expression contorted into a mask of utter confusion. He rubbed one hand over his face. “Huh? Fat lot of good that did. Back to the old drawing board as they say.”

Looked like I had some time before takeoff. “Well, while you’re scratching your head, I’m goin’ outside to communicate with my brothers. I don’t want Mom to worry about me.”

“How …?”

Tapping the side of my head, I explained, “The wolves have a mental connection.” 

I turned about and walked toward the door.

He followed, looking panicked. “You’re not going to go scudding off on me, are you?”

“Not on your life. I haven’t had this much fun since I took a bite outta Paul’s tail.”

**. . . . .**

_Tell Mom, I met someone interesting, and I’m off to the stars with him._

I heard him skid to a halt. _When will you be back?_

_With any luck … never. I’ll be glad to get outta this gawd forsaken place._

_See ya when I see ya, Sis!_

_Love ya, Seth. Bye, bye._

 

**. . . . .**

As I arrived back at the TARDIS, I found the Doctor bent over something or other on the main console, and he tipped his head up when I reached him. “All ship-shape and in Bristol fashion?” 

“Yeah, I let Seth know I’d be gone for a while.”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, he’s my real brother, Seth Clearwater. I don’t have a boyfriend. I got dumped for my cousin. There, are you happy now? No boyfriends.”

“Whoa, that was a sore point with you. Don’t tense, I was just checking. I wouldn’t want to be classified as a home wrecker. I promise on the rings of Sontar never to mention it again.”

“Good. Now, are we ever gonna get this scrap heap to launch?”

He put down his weirdo screwdriver. “I don’t know, I tried everything I could think of.”

With my hands perched on my hips, I brayed, “Think harder, space cadet.”

He sighed, and sat back on the Captain’s pilot seat, staring into space. I, on the other hand, sauntered around the controls and focused on every little detail. I noticed a small wire, just lying there, half hidden by another whatchamacallit once I passed by him.

Picking up the loose wire, I showed it to my perplexed companion. “Is this supposed to be attached to something?”

My alien friend shot off the seat. “Brilliant! That’s it. Why didn’t I see it before, but more importantly, how did _you_ see it?”

I pointed to my eyes, batting my lashes at him. “Wolf vision.”

“Yes indeed. You may well be a valuable asset on this journey.”

“Ya think?”

He shook his head slowly, beaming at me. “Oh, I know so, Leah.”

For some inexplicable reason, my heart fluttered when he said my name. It was an odd sensation, one I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

% % % % %

“Yes! Now, all I need is some electrical tape.”

Jerking my chin toward the hallway, I asked, “Would you mind?”

“Geesh, you don’t have any hi-tech stuff to keep this ol’ rust bucket together?”

“Nah.” I waved my go-to-tool in the air. “Just my sonic screwdriver, and tape, mostly duct tape. You can fix practically anything with duct tape, even on Trimora Blin, and they have the most advanced technology anywhere in the universe. Why, I once saw a Trimoran tape an atomic transducer belt back together. It held long enough to prevent the heat exhaust tension coil from overloading, and wiping out half the city. No small feat if you ask me.”

“Well, I’m not.” She hurried off to retrieve the tape.

**. . . . .**

With the wire safely secured, I attempted to yank on the lever. However, I stopped short of actually moving it.

“Wait.” I put my hand in my pocket, and removing some _galactic lint_ , held it over Leah’s head. “First I must sprinkle some fairy dust on you. Whoosh. And think lovely, wonderful thoughts.”

I pulled the lever down all the way. “And up you’ll go. Next stop—everywhere!”

This time, I heard her suck in a great gulp of air. The TARDIS had that effect on everyone … sometimes even me.

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. A Day in the TARDIS

  

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who  
Banner by LOS

% % % % %

My heart practically leapt from my chest and began to race as the pistons inside the glass cylinder pulsed up and down. I felt the TARDIS rising in the air, and after a minute or two, the sound diminished and continued on at low hum. When I finally caught my breath, I asked my space pilot, “So, where are we headed?”

“No idea, actually. I suppose someplace new. One giant leap for wolfkind … and one, lone Time Lord.”

Great—the blind leading the blind. What had I gotten myself into?

**. . . . .**

With a circular motion of his hand, he announced, “Come along, “You’ve got to be getting a bit hungry. Let’s cobble up some dinner together, shall we? Any suggestions?”

“I’m not that picky, really. I just don’t like eating fresh meat.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean, kill it and eat it on the spot.”

He made a hissing noise between his teeth, then remarked, “Blimey, it would be a bit of a turn off, that. So what’s say we have some roast beef—cooked—Yorkshire pudding, and the odd vegetable here and there.”

I deadpanned, “You have all that on the TARDIS ...?”

“And more. Sometimes my travels go on for days at a time. A growling stomach upsets her, so, yes. I have a vegetable and herb garden in the rear. The fridge is stuffed like a Christmas goose. And since it has gas and mold inhibiting properties built in, I don’t have the problem of the food getting dodgy. I can’t remember the last time I had to dispose of something rotting away, and that was because Donna failed to re-lock it properly.” He held up a small electronic device. “Voila—the key.”

**. . . . .**

The food cooked up in microseconds. Talk about a flash in the pan! Admittedly, it was very convenient to have an oven and burners that were faster than a microwave. I could get used to this. I thought about my mom, and how this would make her life so much easier, seein’ as she was always cooking for others.

“So what do you think, Miss Clearwater? Is dinner not to your satisfaction?”

I moved the broccoli around on the plate with my fork, distractedly. “No, it’s fine.”

The Doctor leaned across the table. “You needn’t lie to me. Something is terribly wrong. What is it?”

“You mentioned a woman named, Donna.”

He rested his elbow on the table, his chin perched on a fist. “Yes, I did. What about it?”

“Who was she?”

“One of my companions.”

“I thought you traveled alone.”

“I try not to. Every lonely monster needs a companion. I find human females to be the best in the universe.”

Uh-oh, suddenly, I felt what … jealous? Gawd, no. Too early for that. I was not the type that believed in love at first sight. “How many _companions_ have you … shared your life with?”

“Ah … there were so many, that I’ve lost track of them; forgotten. And then there are those that I can’t forget no matter how hard I try. That’s why I can’t let you stay with me for too long.”

“How long is _too_ long?”

“About a year or so is just about right … but the good news is, I can drop you back down to earth just a few minutes after we left, so no one will be the wiser. Well, except you, and me of course. Ooh, yes, I forgot about your brother. I can always shave off those few moments when you talked to him if you’d like.”

“You have this all figured out, don’t you?”

“Nah, I make it up as I go along. It’s more fun that way. Keeps me on my toes … yours too. But trust me. I’ve got a history.”

“Of what?”

“Of always returning my companions undamaged, at least physically.” A frown settled on his face. “Hold on … I never thought about post-traumatic stress. Blimey, I hope none of them suffered greatly. I know Rose was distraught when we parted, but I made it up to her. At least I think I did. She’s in a parallel dimension, so I can’t really check up to see if my solution worked.”

I must’ve looked puzzled, because he nodded at me, and explained, “Hmn-hmmn … Oh, yes, believe it or not, there are limits to being a Time Lord. For instance, crossing into established events is strictly forbidden, except for cheap tricks.

“Listen to me—whittering on and on. It’s a quirk of mine. I talk too much; always, always rambling on. This gob doesn’t stop for anything. I just open my mouth and the words pour out. But it’s different with you, and that’s what I like. You talk efficiently, and to the point. No blathering about. One-liners … mostly. Also, you seem to listen to my nonsense, Is that a Quileute trait?”

“You can say that. If you were in one of our council meetings tho’, no one else would ever get the chance to hold the Talking Stick.”

“Yes, I heard about that. Great idea by the way. Oi, wait a tick—I think I’ve just been insulted.”

I couldn’t help laughing at the look on his face. “You heard that right, but we kind of got off the subject. So, Donna outstayed her welcome, and that’s why you were alone today?”

“Nah, I let her go. It was time for both of us to move on.”

I dropped my fork on the plate. “Don’t you think that’s a little cruel, just dumping her like that?”

“Au contraire, it was the kindest thing I could do. Sending her away decreased the odds of something horribly bad happening to her, unless she brought it upon herself. Being my companion is a dangerous business, so I keep my friends for a short time, drop them off at home, and go on solo until the loneliness overtakes me. And here I am today, after a long drought of being alone, having dinner with the wolf lady, Leah Clearwater.

“How did you do that anyway, turn into a wolf, I mean?’

“That’s something I can’t really discuss. It’s a Quileute secret, and I’m bound to keep it that way.”

“Secrets … Oh, I like that. Leah is not only brilliant, but mysterious. I’ve chosen well, or borrowed you, if you will. Borrowing implies returning what you borrowed though, and I may not want to give you back. Perhaps in this case, a year isn’t quite sufficient, I may let you stay with me a bit longer.”

“What makes you think I’d want to extend my stay with you?”

He stood up from the table. “Because, I’m the Doctor.”

Walking toward me, he took my hand. “Come with me, Leah. I want to show you something.”

As he grasped the door handle, I thought for a moment that he was gonna pitch me out of the craft. The Doctor swung the door wide, and instead of the panels flying off their hinges, and space acting like a giant vacuum, sucking us into the air with all the other debris, the door framed the galaxy in all its shimmering magnificence. I was stunned, and I couldn’t speak for several minutes. I was on the verge of tears; the majesty of it all overwhelming me.

He pointed to the immense sea of stars. “There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there’s injustice, and somewhere else the tea’s getting cold. That, Miss Clearwater, is why you’d stay on. And you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

% % % % %

I looked down at my wrist. Yes, even The Doctor has to know when it’s tea time. “Well, look at my watch. It’s getting late. You ‘ve had such a busy day; you must be knackered.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty beat.”

“I’ll let you choose your sleeping quarters.”

We walked along the hall, and she scrutinized each one. As she ventured into my bedroom, she remarked, “I love the pictures on the walls. What’s this one?”

It was a painting of Gallifrey—all golds and yellows and bright hues of orange and red. “That’s my home.” I sighed. “Oh, you should have seen it, that old planet. The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountain would shine … The leaves on the trees were silver and they’d light the sky every morning like it was on fire. Blimey, but I miss it.”

Leah bowed her head. “I won’t miss La Push much. It’s miserably cold and rainy and drab. The armpit of Washington State.”

“Nah, I don’t buy that. You’d miss something about it.”

She gazed up at me, her eyes catching mine. “Not the place; just the people, my mom, my brother.”

“What about your father?”

“He died last year. I miss him the most.”

“I’m so, so sorry.”

“Why? It wasn’t your fault he died.”

“I’m sorry that he was taken away from you, and that you miss him.”

 “Stop it. You’re gonna make me cry.”

“You say it as if that would be a bad thing.”

Her eyes flashed angrily. “It is. I don’t have time for it.”

“You’re wrong. You have all the time in the universe now.”

She turned and walked away from me, ignoring my comment, and headed toward the last room. “You keep that bedroom for yourself. I’m guessing the other one is for the human, since the big blue marble is hanging on the wall over the bed.”

“You know, you don’t have to settle for the décor such as it is. The TARDIS can change it to anything you wish.”

“Don’t bother. It’s fine just the way it is.”

“Good night then. I handed her the sonic screwdriver. “Here, take this.”

She looked at my screwdriver in her palm, puzzled. “What for?”

“I don’t know … umm …maybe it will make you feel safer? We met a few hours ago, and myself being an alien and all, I just thought you might not trust me yet.”

Leah, handed it back. “Thanks, but no thanks. I can handle myself. Besides, I don’t even know how the freakin’ contraption works.”

“Nothing to it really.” I demonstrated. “You point it at me, push down on this semicircular button, and zappo. I’ll not only bite the dust, I’ll _be_ the dust.”

“You’re kiddin’. Some space alien. I thought you’d at least have a ray gun or blaster or something! But a stinkin’ screwdriver?”

I laughed; something I had no reason to do for months on end. “Blimey, but you’ve been watching too many science fiction movies.”

Glancing at it again, she said, “And who’s gonna pilot this piece of space junk if I zap you into oblivion?”

“Ah … good point. But I’m not saying you have to use it. Put it under your pillow for security.”

She quickly grabbed it from me. “Sonic screwdriver …” she muttered. “Alright. Gimme the damn thing if it makes you happy.

“Ha! I win. Goodnight, Leah. Pleasant dreams.”

Leah hissed, “I’m already living a nightmare, so I better have pleasant dreams when I’m asleep.”

The next morning, I woke up to the awful noise of the TARDIS wheezing again. I heard the Doctor puttering around in the galley, making breakfast. He certainly knew how to treat a guest.

I sauntered down to the wardrobe, picked out something casual, and walked with it draped over my arm to the bathroom for a shower.

**. . . . .**

“Good morning, sunshine! Sleep well?”

Her eyes rolled. “Are you always this cheerful in the morning?”

“Yes, right you are. It’s always a _big_ day tomorrow, which now happens to be today. I’ve got a time machine at my disposal, and I skip the _little_ ones.”

She sat down and asked, “Where are we?”

“Haven’t the foggiest. The information panel reads we’ve landed on a planet named, Antoris.”

Gesturing to her to hurry, I urged, “Come on, then. Eat up, so we can start on our adventure.”

With a twirl of her fork, she remarked, “Not so fast, ET. Gobbling food is bad for your digestion. Didn’t they teach you that in the intergalactic space academy? Anyway, we have all the time in the universe. You said so yourself.”

_Why are all my companions so bloody cheeky?_

**. . . . .**

I cautioned Leah. “We’ll have to wait a few moments for the TARDIS to set up the air corridor. The atmospheric panel reads too little oxygen, and waaaay too much helium and nitrous oxide surrounding this planet. I don’t fancy giggling on our walkabout. It’s undignified for a Time Lord to giggle like a school girl.”

I yelled over my shoulder, “Set the duration for ninety minutes. That should do it.”

Offering her my hand, I announced, “Come along, Leah. Allons-y!”

We walked through the door and onto a barren, desert planet. I glanced at Leah, whose eyebrows rose an inch. Not a very spectacular scene for a first-time space explorer. The good news was: nary a monster in sight … yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Getting Antsy

  

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who  
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**. . . . .**

“We came all the way across the stars … for this?”

“ _This_ is just our first stop. Don’t be too quick to judge. We haven’t actually seen much of the planet. Paradise could be hiding over the next ridge. You shouldn’t be complaining anyhow. It’s ungrateful; you got a free buddy pass.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. Thank you for taking me to this dry, desolate, and poor excuse for a planet. I’m game. Let’s get on with it.”

We’d walked about half a kilometer, and everywhere in the surrounding area were hills dotted with abandoned buildings. I was beginning to get a bit disappointed myself. What in the name of Gallifrey had happened here?

I pointed out some rather peculiar looking indigenous plants, and told Leah, “Be careful. You never know if some of these will sting, burn, or drive you mad with itching.”

Spotting a large specimen that reminded me of Audrey II. I almost expected it to yell, “Feed me, Seymour. Feed me.”

A little further on, we arrived at a small hillock, and a swarm of black ants began to cover it. One approached Leah’s foot, and she instinctively stomped on it before I shouted, “No, wait. Don’t!”

“It’s a freakin’ ant,” she said. “And he was gonna bite me.”

“Hold on, these creatures are sentient. He only came to ask for our assistance.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Telepathically based universal translation system. It’s extreeeemely handy.”

She lifted her foot, and I heard the little chap’s plea.

_Help me … help me, please. My leg; it’s broken._

Leah moved aside, and several ants came and carried their injured comrade back to the nest. I got down on one knee and whipped out my OEG, or object enhancement glass. I stared through the glass as another leader took his place. “Ooh, you are a tiny thing. Never talked to an ant before. Ah, well, first time for everything, eh?  … I’m the Doctor by the way.”

“Doctor, my name is Niti, and we are in grave peril.”

“Grave peril, you say. Hmn … That is a bit of a pickle. How can I help you?”

“The red army is on the march. They’ve been spotted by our lookouts. They want to take our food and water, destroy our home and make us their slaves.”

“Blimey, I don’t have any pesticide. What would you have me do?”

% % % % %

My patience was wearing thin. I tapped him on the arm. “You seriously want me to believe they’re talking to you? Gawd, I came here expecting some spectacular adventure, with weird creatures, and outta this world scenery. Instead, I’m surrounded by a hallucinating star trekker and a mob of ants.”

He looked up. “Not just any ants. These are ants of outer space.”

“Big whoop. Seen one, ya’ve seen ’em all. What is this place, the picnic planet? No wonder it’s deserted.”

The Doctor motioned me to hunker down and handed me the magnifying glass. Of course it was hi-tech. It was more like a microscope, with a button on the stem to enlarge whatever you were looking at. When I brought the glass to my eye, I nearly fell over backwards. I could clearly see the ant’s eyes and mouth moving. That was enough to convince me. Gave me the creepy crawlies too. I nearly flung the freakin’ glass to Doctor. Vampires, I could deal with—bugs, not so much.

“There, now don’t you feel foolish?”

“Well, who the hell ever heard of a talking ant?”

This Who, that’s who. And Niti says the red ants are on their way to wage war.”

“Now, that I can believe. I can see a streak of red coming in from the north.” I pointed to my eyes. “Wolf vision, remember?”

“Oi! That doesn’t give me much time to come up with a plan.”

“Why do _you_ need to invent a plan? This isn’t your concern. It’s not like you’re an outer space ant. Why should you even care? Don’t you have some sort of order specifying that you can’t interfere with the status quo? I mean, think about it, this war has probably gone on for a millennium or two.”

“Exactly. It’s gone on far too long. And that’s why we are going to put a stop to it. I’m the Doctor, and that’s what I do. I fix things, save lives, and do whatever needs doing. Why do you think I carry around a screwdriver, eh?”

“And you call me foolish? Okay, what if we came up with a treaty? Worked for all our tribes.”

“A treaty … brilliant! That’s just, well … brilliant, that’s what it is. Let’s get back to the TARDIS and hammer one out together.”

**. . . . .**

“What the hell are they fighting over?”

I revved up my computer. “Oh, the usual … food, water, territory, politics …”

“Politics?”

With a wink, I blared, “Gotcha!”

“How can you joke at a time like this? I thought you were being serious about helping them.”

“Yeah … okay. I guess I deserved that.”

“Right, so how about if they build a storage facility together, in neutral territory, and divide it. Then, they wouldn’t have to raid and plunder. And with the reds assisting with the gathering, the other ants wouldn’t be accused of hoarding all the food and water. Whaddya think, Doctor?”

“I think that sounds like Point 1. Now, for Point 2: They can set up markers to designate each boundary. Point 3: A system of judges should try any ant that breaks the treaty.”

“They’ll need a talking stick too. Arguing gets you nowhere.”

**. . . . .**

I printed out my very first official document: _The Territory of Antoris Treaty_ and Leah nodded in approval which somehow made me feel especially proud. Then we legged it back to the old ant hill with the precious agreement in my hand.

Niti greeted me, and I went over the details with him.

“Do you think the red ants will agree?”

“I don’t know. Senka is their leader. He’s extremely belligerent, but perhaps you could talk some sense into him.”

**. . . . .**

The red army ants halted just short of the hill. I called to Senka, “Greetings, Senka. I’m the Doctor, and I’m here to propose a peace treaty. What say you?”

The large red ant snorted, and said, “There can be no peace between our two species. Niti and his colony possess all the most fertile fields and the water. We have neither, so we’re forced to take it wherever we can.”

“Hold on … suppose, just suppose that you work together and gather up all the food and water you can, and place it in a communal storehouse. Would that be agreeable?”

Senka puffed out his thorax, and bellowed, “Why should I agree to that, when I can take what I want?”

That comment set me off. “Bollocks! You can comply with the treaty, or I can go back to my ship and return with a can of RAID.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t want to know. But I can give you the Doctor’s guarantee that you won’t like it; no, not one little bit.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Doctor …”

“Just the Doctor.”

“If that stubborn Niti agrees, then I guess I’ll have to agree also.”

“Oh, yes, you will. Now, talk it over with Niti, and he’ll apprise you of the finer points.

“Ah, well then, we’ll be off while you work out the details. I have faith in you.”

I brushed my hand together after putting my OEG back in my pocket. “Blimey, I wasn’t rubbish at treaty-making, was I? Another win-win solution for the Doctor.”

Leah yanked me back to reality. “Huuuuh!” she huffed. “Whose idea was it anyway?”

“Oh, right. Sorry. It was, after all, your idea, and it was a bloody masterpiece.”

“Damn straight, ET!”

% % % % %

We entered the TARDIS and I asked Doctor, “Do you really have a can of RAID?”

“Nah, I was talking through my hat. But if I waved this at them ...” Here, he displayed his now familiar screwdriver. “… it could reeeaaaaly ant-agonize them.”

“Ya know, you have a way with words.”

“Oh, yes. I love words, not four-letter ones, just nice words; long words, less used words, and nonsensical, made-up words.”

“I like words also, and I have one just for you—stop!”

“Alright then. It’s time for lunch anyway. So, fancy a picnic?”

“Are you serious? This is the ant planet, and I do not welcome any to walk off with my food, treaty or no treaty.”

“Come onnnn … they’re not likely to incur the wrath of the Doctor.” His eyes widened and his brows twitched. “The infamous can of RAID and all.”

“You’re impossible, ya know that?”

“Not impossible, just highly unlikely.”

“Whatever.”

**. . . . .**

And so, there we were sitting on a blanket in an air corridor, on freakin’ Antoris, eating sandwiches and chips; not at all what I pictured when I signed on to this mission. Then again, I never expected to meet a weirdo spaceman with a screwdriver fetish, or one flying around the universe in a police call box either. What would the pack think about this? Leah Clearwater sharing lunch with ET on a distant planet—who woulda thunk?

I was deep in thought, literally staring into _space_. It was a lot to digest, and I didn’t mean lunch. If this was a dream, and I woke up in La Push, I would totally go ballistic.

I glanced at my handsome, intergalactic traveler, and suddenly heard him say, “Oi, Antoris to earthgirl, come in … earthgirl.”

“What?”

“I was just saying we better clean up the area before the corridor collapses.”

“Oh.”

We finished sweeping up the remains, leaving behind the crumbs for the _local inhabitants_ , then gathered up all the dishes, and blanket, and headed to the TARDIS.

**. . . . .**

“Doctor?”

He looked up from the console after tweaking some knobs. “Right here, right now, listening to every syllable.”

“I just wanted to thank you for bringing me here. I’m not disappointed; really, I’m not. I would like to know what happened to the people, or other beings who lived here tho’.”

He sat down in the pilot’s seat and patted the worn cushion beside him. “Have a seat, Leah.”

The Doctor sighed. “Funny you should ask. I questioned Niti about that same subject myself. It seems the Red army ants swarmed into the buildings and ate everything in their path, food, plants, and people included. Well, at least I imagine they cannibalized everything. I didn’t get the gory details. In any event, the residents were either eaten or decided this planet wasn’t big enough for the ants and the people, so they got outta Dodge and never returned.”

“That’s a very sobering thought.”

“You live as long as I have, and you see it happening a lot; the strong overrunning the weak. It’s a never-ending cycle. My own planet was destroyed in the Last Great Time Wars, and the enemy nearly decimated as well. Daleks, they were called.”

“Daleks?”

“Oh yes, they’re like these tin cans with tiny miserable beings encased in the metal, shouting, _Exterminate! Exterminate!_ A few escaped, and now there’s a newly generated army out there somewhere, just waiting for another crack at the Doctor.”

“You mean you’re alone in the fight against them?”

“That assumption is entirely correct. In the meantime, I travel here and there, and in time itself, hoping to outrun them, and/ or prevent them from overtaking the rest of the universe. Stubborn beasties they are. It’s a bloody lonely job, but someone has to do it.”

He took my hand, his dark eyes riveted on mine, and I couldn’t look away. “You know, there’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive … wormhole refractors … you know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.”

The Doctor stood up. “Blimey, isn’t it getting soppy in here? What say we venture out again, and trundle about in some of these alien structures?”

“You’re not going to try renovating them, are you?”

“I’m afraid even my sonic screwdriver would find that task indomitable.

“Come on then, Leah. Allons-y!”

**. . . . .**

 

It was difficult seeing the ruins in the interiors of homes and buildings that once teemed with people, or creatures or whatever.  Dust and debris covered the floors; glass shards along with mud bricks and fallen timbers and stonework made an obstacle course that slowed our journey.

  

 

When we came to the last building in what remained of the block, our shoes crunched repeatedly on something beneath us, sinking down about four inches. The doctor crouched, brushing away some of the dusty sediment. In a low voice, he said, “This is where it all started. The others must have escaped elsewhere.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“We’re walking on their dry bones. They should be mummified in this heat, yet they’re stripped down to the skeleton.”

I backed up, and turning, ran outside, my breath hitching. The Doctor reached me quickly. “I’ve had enough. I need to leave this horrible place.”

“My sentiments exactly. Follow me.”

 


	5. Allons-y

  

 

Blimey, but that was a grisly scene. The bones were at least several centimeters deep. Those beasties must’ve had quite an appetite. I shook off the chill that permeated my soul and led Leah away from the street.

On entering my ship, Leah shook her head. “I’ve seen some creepy things in my life, but gawd, that takes the cake.”

“Shall we pull out and sail away then?”

“Not just yet. Let me catch my breath.”

“Maybe you should have a good lie down for a bit, eh?”

“Good idea. What about you?”

“Nah, I’ve been around a lot worse. I told you, being with me is a dangerous business. This was nothing in comparison.

“I’ll wait while you take a quick kip. I’ll make us some tea. And we can traverse the stars afterwards. ”

**. . . . .**

What kind of shocking things could she possibly have experienced in her short existence? She never did divulge her secret. So perhaps that had something to do with it.

I heard Leah stirring about in her quarters, so I put the kettle on for the tea. And since she walked into the galley appearing refreshed after her nap, I set her to work.

“There’s cake. It’s in a white box on the pantry shelf if you please.”

% % % % %

Which box? There were three of them. Eenie-meenie-minie-moe. I picked the one that seemed most appropriate and walked out with it. In hindsight, I should’ve just opened the stupid thing and looked inside. When I approached the table, Doctor said, “Be careful with that!”

“What? Do you keep explosives in your pantry? Gawd, I nearly dropped this.”

“Set it down … very gently.”

I did as I was told. “What’s in it?”

“Those are my Jammy Dodgers, and they crumble easily. Well … not as easily as sugar wafers, or crumb cake. Actually, if the crumb cake sits on the shelf for very long, you could use it as a paperweight, that is, if you had any paper. I don’t have a big ream of paper left at the moment. I’ll have to go to Paper Plus and get some the next time I visit Quattor IV.”

I sighed, getting irritated. “Not that I’m the least bit unconcerned about your supply of paper, but what the hell are Jammy Dodgers?”

As he took the tin of tea from the overhead cabinet, he jerked back at my comment. Spinning around to face me, he answered, “Noooo! You mean to tell me there are no Jammy Dodgers in America? Why that’s un-American, or un-British, or whatever. I can’t believe America has lasted this long without introducing its people to Jammy Dodgers. What is the world coming to?”

“Look, spaceman, you didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, then open it, and see.”

“I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this. “They’re cookies, freakin’ cookies. What’s so special about a box of cookies?”

“What’s so special …? Blimey, they’re the best biscuits in the universe. Try one if you’re not convinced.”

“No thanks. I’ll take your word for it. I’ll go get the other two containers.”

**. . . . .**

We began eating our cake. It was caramel pecan with some type of creamy filling in the middle. I was amazed; it was so good. “Did you bake this yourself?”

“I’ve been here in the TARDIS, alone, for yonks, so, yes. I baked it myself. Love cake. And Jammy Dodgers.”

“I’m impressed.”

“I’ve had oodles of baking experience, being my own chief cook and bottle washer. Gets lonely though. I’m glad I got to share this with someone.”

“Oodles, huh? If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you anyway?’

“Twenty-eight, I think. It’s hard to calibrate when you roam around in time and space. Technically speaking, I’m probably somewhere around 903, give or take a year. The last time I regenerated I got this body. I was kind of disappointed, not being a ginger and all, but I suppose I’m stuck in it, so no sense in getting stroppy, and boo-hooing about it, eh? It’d be a neat trick trying to give it back.”

Pointing my fork at him, I fired back, “Go onnnn … you expect me to swallow all of that.”

“Chew on it all you want. It’s the truth. Now tell me about yourself.

“Were you always a shapeshifter?”

I looked down at the frosting, now sticking to my fork. “That’s a touchy subject.”

“Well, if you really don’t want to talk about it …”

“It’s not that, it’s just … I’m not at liberty to discuss it with anyone. I literally can’t say anything anyhow.”

“I’m not just anyone. And if you’re afraid I’d blab it across the universe, remember this: right now, you’re my only friend.”

“Since we’re not on earth, I guess Sam’s gag order won’t deter me.”

He quickly swallowed another bite. “Gag order? Who is this monster you call Sam?”

My eyes rose to the rafters. “He’s the interim Alpha of the pack.

“And when the Alpha gives an order, members of his pack obey. Our tongues are tied, and we can’t speak the words that would divulge our secret. I wonder if I’m far enough away that I can talk freely.”

“Go ahead, try.” He lifted the fork to his mouth and began biting into more cake.

“Gawd, I can’t believe I’m doin’ this.

“Okay, spaceman, you asked for it. I’ve been a shapeshifter for two years now. There are creatures on the earth that we call cold ones. They are our natural enemy. When they settled near us, it tripped a gene in our DNA, and we began to shift to protect the tribe against them. At first, it seemed that only the males were affected, but then, bingo, it was my turn, and believe me, I am not happy about it. As far as I know, I’m the only female shifter.”

“Oi, that’s totally brill. We have something in common. We’re both the only existing creatures of our kind.”

Like I deemed it some kind of blessing … “Big whoop!”

“It is to me. Oh, Leah, you are amazing! The day I accidentally fell on La Push, was my good fortune. But go on, I want to hear more.”

“You are a glutton for punishment. Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely.” The Doctor pushed aside his empty plate, and placed his elbow on the table top, perching his chin on his hand, his bright eyes glued to mine.

“My fiancée, Sam—yes the same Sam—imprinted on my cousin, and suddenly I was outta the picture. Emily was like a sister to me, so you can understand that I don’t have warm, fuzzy feelings for either of them.”

“I’m so, so sorry, but tell me about imprinting. I’ve heard about it a few times; well maybe just a couple of times. Actually, this is the first instance. So, fire away; I’m all ears. Enlighten me, earthgirl.”

“You’re kiddin’. You’ve traveled the stars, and haven’t a clue about imprinting?”

With a shake of his head, he offered, “Not an inkling.”

“And here I thought you were this walking encyclopedia of intergalactic trivia.

“Okay, listen up then. First off, it’s a freaky, wolf thing; a way for a wolf to find his perfect match. Supposedly, it’s to ensure the procreation of the heartiest members to make up the pack. Survival of the fittest and all that crap. Apparently, I’m not fit enough. I don’t really _fit_ in either. I mean … one female among a gang of male shifters? Gimme a break.

“Anyway, one look into your chosen mate’s eyes, and you’re head over heels. I’ve seen it happen.”

“Hmn … Well, you are ACE in my book, and I’m chuffed to bits that you didn’t imprint, because then you wouldn’t be here with me, eating cake!”

He looked so sincere when he said that. Gawd, I felt the heat envelop my face. It was stupid and childish, but then he made me feel like a silly school girl at times—when he wasn’t acting like an outer space idiot.

% % % % %

I noticed a pink tinge cross her face when I made that last comment. Blimey, but it was a fetching sight. I didn’t realize that earth girls did that sort of thing anymore. She was definitely one in a million.

Leah helped me clean up after our tea, and we hied it to the control room to rev up the ol’ TARDIS and launch. When we took off I sat in the pilot’s seat, and she joined me there.

“Where are we going this time?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t bloody care, as long as you’re with me on this trip, it’ll be a fun adventure wherever we wind up.”

“What an optimist.”

“Yeah, that’s me. I am, and always will be—the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams.”

“You make it all sound so romantic, and I don’t believe in romance, not anymore.”

“Whaaaat? Why that’s … that’s downright depressing. What you need is another good cuppa. That’ll cheer you up.”

“I’m not depressed, just realistic.”

“You think I’m a poor sod, barmy as all get out for being unrealistic? But think about it, Leah, if you don’t reach for your dreams, then you’re just stuck in a rut, in La Push, on the earth, living a mean life."

I poked her in the ribs with my elbow and winked. “Wake up. Look where you are; flying about the galaxies with a dishy, winsome space traveler.”

“You forgot dispenser of incomprehensible information and chef extraordinaire.”

I pulled a face. “Is that so? Hmn, succinctly put.”

**. . . . .**

I puttered about, checking the instrument panel, while Leah went into the nursery to pick some vegetables for dinner.

When she finished, she asked, “Is it alright if I open the door and look out again?”

“Be my guest. Careful not to lean out too far though. Wouldn’t want to leave you swinging on a star.”

I started singing, _Would you like to swing on a star?_

Leah shoved the doors wide open, her expression capturing the awe that the view inspired. She stood there silhouetted against the star-studded curtain of darkness. After a few minutes of silence, she turned to me and in a panic, pointed outside. “Please don’t tell me we’re headed for that black hole.”

I caught her up, and standing beside her, looked in the direction she’d been staring at. “Oh, right. Not a black hole, however. Well, it’s black, and it is a hole, but not a black hole. It’s a wormhole.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Is this where I dish out more incredible, incomprehensible information?”

She scowled at me. “Just spit it out!”

“A black hole is like an outer space vacuum cleaner sucking up light and planets, and us, if we’re not watchful. It was once a star that imploded so that it compressed tinier and tinier so that all that was left was a speck of dust with all this immensely, powerful, gravitational force. In reality, you can’t see a black hole. A wormhole on the other hand is a gateway to another area of the universe, a shortcut. Love shortcuts.

“And, yes, I am telling you that we’re headed for that wormhole.”

“If you can’t detect a black hole, then how do you know if there’s one near you?”

“Easy-peasy. I let the TARDIS navigate around it. She’s brilliant. Haven’t ever dropped into one yet.”

“I hate to ask, but why _are_ we heading to that wormhole?”

“For the same reason the chicken crossed the road. Ah, let’s have chicken for supper.”

Shutting the doors, she walked over and plopped down onto the pilot's seat. "You are a certifiable astro-nut, you know that?"

Nodding, I quipped, "I've been called far worse, but I kind of fancy that one. Good choice of words."

% % % % %

It still made me nervous, knowing we were about to be gobbled up by a wormhole. Didn’t he ever see The Empire Strikes Back?

When we entered the dark tunnel, the TARDIS seemed to pick up speed. We were encapsulated for about ten minutes. All the while, the Doctor held my hand, the fingers of my other one, clenched around the console.

“No need to tense, Leah. I’ve done this dozens of times. Trust me ...”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the Doctor—I know!”

The TARDIS abruptly plummeted as it was spit out of the tunnel. My stomach lurched, and I found myself clinging to Doctor for dear life. The ship then rocked slightly and straightened itself. In a few more minutes, we were spewed out onto a neighboring planet.

 

 

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A wormhole or Einstein–Rosen bridge is a hypothetical topological feature that would fundamentally be a shortcut connecting two separate points in spacetime.


	6. Deja Vu of the Space Kind

  

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% % % % %

“Land ho!” Doctor shouted. He hugged me tight, and kissed my cheek, then he turned to me, smiling. “Told you. Easy-peasy.”

 “ _Easy_ for you to say. I think I left my stomach back there on the floor.”

“Ah, well, it’ll still be there when we get back.”

“Ha! The TARDIS tells me we’ve landed on an unnamed planet in the constellation of Throm. Never been here before.”

“There’s a first for ya,” I mumbled.

I began walking toward the doorway. “Hold on … don’t go out there yet. Gotta check the atmospheric sensor plate first. You could die of asphyxiation, or breathe in a noxious gas. Never, ever, leave the TARDIS without checking on the air quality.” Doctor bent over the console studying something on the instrument panel. “Ah, looks to be about right. A little bit more oxygen in the mix, but what the hell. We’ll just be more alert, eh? Come along, Leah—allons-y!”

The sun, if it was the sun, or their sun, was still shining. Gawd, this was gonna drive me bonkers. Anyway, Doctor held my hand, and we walked toward what looked like a city. There were signs all around, designating the place as New Vegas? The town looked anything but new. It was grubby, and run down, but at least I didn’t see any _ants_.

 

 

**. . . . .**

There were several restaurants along the _strip_. The Doctor pointed to one. “Ah, that one looks to be approved by the health department. What say we throw caution to the wind, and have a bite?”

“Okay by me, but I don’t have a cent.”

Doctor put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a wallet. He held up a metallic card with a holographic image on it. “Galactic Express, accepted at most planetary enterprises. And if that doesn’t do, well, I rely on these.” He retrieved a handful of gems.

I didn’t ask where he got them.

We walked inside and peered around at the customers. I guessed they were humans at least, and they seemed to enjoy their dinner. They were all smiling, and talking and eating. I let Doctor order the food, since it was all _Greek_ to me. The menus were covered in weird symbols which he interpreted.

“Must be nice having a universal translator at your beck and call.”

“Don’t know what I’d do without the TARDIS. Sign language, I imagine. I wonder if that has a universal method, as on earth. No matter, we’re on … where are we?”

He asked the waiter who stopped to take our order. After listening to the gobbledegook, The Doctor told me we had landed on Vega Nui.

“How is it that the signs are in English?”

“Usgat tells me that the original humans from earth built the city, but then the language got corrupted. They left the signs as they were, a sort of bow to history. We’re no longer in the 21st century, you see.” The Doctor glanced past my shoulder. “Oh, look, here comes our supper.”

**. . . . .**

“Dig in,” he urged.

“I’ll dig in after you explain what the hell is sitting on my plate.”

The white stuff is kob yoch. It’s a kind of veggie like cabbage. It’s wrapped around meat from an enok. Never seen an enok before. Weeeelll … maybe once or twice. Big hairy beast, with three horns on its head. Anyway, think of it as stuffed grape leaves. I’ll take the first bite.”

I rolled my eyes. “How brave of you.”

The doctor broke off a bit and chewed round and round, his face contorting as he tried to describe the flavor. “Hmn … it’s a cross between beef and rattle snake. It’s good, actually. Try it.”

I sighed, but then what did I expect—burgers and fries? We were on a distant planet for gawd’s sake. Closing my eyes, I poked it with a fork, cut off some, and placed it on my tongue. Not bad. The flavor was outta this world. Gordon Ramsey, look out!

There was some sort of thin bread on the side along with a dipping sauce. Beeka and ioppe, Doctor said. The ioppe had a slight kick to it, much like a spicy hummus. The other vegetable on the plate was a sliced, purplish cucumber looking thingy, which the doctor explained was a fried shuaq.

As we ate, I noticed a light rail pull up outside, and all the customers quickly settled their accounts and boarded. I got up from my seat, curious as to why they evacuated so suddenly. Standing by the window, I watched while the whole of the shops and casinos on the strip emptied out, all boarding the transport.

I got a little worried as the cooks and waiters all left too. We hadn’t even paid yet, and here we were, the last ones in the freakin’ restaurant, huh …

% % % % %

Odd, that. And it didn’t bode well. We finished eating, and I slipped one of the smaller, raw gems under the lip of my plate. “That should cover the cost. Let’s see what all the hub-bub was about, shall we?”

I led Leah outside. The sun was settling behind a nearby mountain range. Once it sank below the rim, nearly all the lights along the street flickered out, except for a few, and one in particular, a dance hall, called the Red Rocket. Perhaps, this planet held to a strict religious regimen, and this was the eve of their Sabbath?

Pulling Leah behind me, I said, “Oi, fancy a whirl about the dance floor.”

“Ha, you dance?”

“Excuse me, but I’ve had oodles of practice. I’ve danced the _Maresca_ in Verona, the _Alter Werga_ on Gesla Tur, and can twerk with the best of them.”

“Why you’re a regular Da Vinci.”

“That’s me. A Da Vinci with a blue box and a sonic screwdriver. Now, come on, let’s cut a rug.”

**. . . . .**

Leah was surprised when the bartender started arguing with me. He finally slapped two drinks on the counter and scowled. I paid the man with my GE card, and handing her the drink, we searched for a clean table and sat down.

“What was that all about?”

“Ah, he was a bit miffed because I didn’t want one of his stronger brews.”

“You don’t drink?”

“Nah. I’m a teetotaler. Never much saw the sense in getting bladdered, or waking up the next day with a bleeding headache, and not knowing where I’d been, or where in the universe I ended up. With the TARDIS under my control, it’d be irresponsible. Why I could land inside a brick wall, or crash into someone’s house. You can see the problem, eh?”

“Uh … yeah.”

The music blared from a tiny DMD box situated on the far wall, and Leah cocked one eyebrow. “We came here to dance didn’t we?”

“Exactly.” I put down my drink, and _put my dancin’ shoes on_. Leah and I were among the few couples on the floor. It did my hearts good to hear her laughter while we danced away the evening.

% % % % %

Watching the Doctor dance was a trip and a half. He had the moves all right, and wasn’t self-conscious at all, to the point of being childish. He was all elbows and wobbly legs at one point, and I couldn’t stop laughing.

“What in gawd’s name are you doing, the Funky Chicken?” I asked.

“Get with it, earthgirl. For your information, I’m beating out a sam-ba!” he sang.

“Don’t you feel a bit foolish?”

He continued his gyrations. “Nah, there’s no point in being grown up, if you can’t be childish sometimes. Live a little; we’re rockin’ at the Red Rocket.”

He was so full of energy. I guess with two hearts, that was what you got from crackerjacks. For the first time in years, I was _having_ a good time—and realized it was because of the Doctor. He was my good time. And crap, I tried my hardest not to, but I think it was at the decrepit nightclub that I began to develop feelings for the freakin’ goofball. What a pair we made … a shapeshifter and an honest to gawd, outer space alien. I only had one heart, and despite my best efforts, it was turning to mush. Damn him.

% % % % %

After a few more songs, I led her off the dance floor. On the way back to our seat, I stopped at a table and asked about the mass exodus we witnessed. The man there just stated, “When the sun goes down, they come out.”

“They?”

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

“No, so perhaps you could inform me about them.”

“Just run as fast as you can. That’s all you need to know.”

“Blimey, that’s good advice, but how is it that you’re here?”

“I run fast, and I have an underground escape route. All the regulars do.”

Not wanting to scare the dickens out of her, I explained to Leah, “That chap says there are some ruffians about, so maybe we should hie to the TARDIS, and rack out.”

We walked out of the club, and were sauntering along the darkened street aways, when Leah said, “There are some people following us. Maybe we should step up the pace.”

I glanced back, and saw the lot of them, almost gliding along the ground, their eyes glowing red, and holding a look of menace. No time for subtlety now. “Run!” I yelled.  

% % % % %

A trillion miles away from home, and yet, that scent was unmistakable. Just my freakin’ luck! And so, I ran with the Doctor, putting some distance between us and those monsters. Being faster than he was, he fell behind. Slowing somewhat, so he could catch up, I turned toward the place where we dined, and he followed me into the restaurant. The Doctor and I bolted out the back exit and continued running into the alley. I knew they wouldn’t give up that easily. They were hungry.

We passed behind some shops, and he started to fall behind again. Gah … he had two hearts. Why couldn’t he keep up? Moot question, ’cuz just then one of the creatures, a female, jumped out of a shop and was quickly moving toward him. _Oh, no you don’t. You are not gonna sink your fangs into my Doctor._

__

He shouted as he held up his screwdriver, ready to blast her. “Go. Save yourself.”

Was he kiddin’ me? No way. I yanked off my dress and shifted, letting out a loud growl. The beast startled, and stiffened in her tracks. I guess she’d never seen a wolf like me before. _Get away from him._  

The moron must’ve figured she had enough time to get in a little sip, ’cuz she dove at the Doctor, knocking him to the ground. The jarring force loosened his grip on the screwdriver, and it rolled away toward the building, useless. I pounced on her at the same time, ripping the night with a bloodcurdling howl. We went at it tooth and claw, tumbling in a dance of death, but she was no match for me. Stupid fool. She had no experience fighting an enemy like Leah Clearwater. I finally backed her into a wall, stood on my hind legs, and ripped the sucker’s head off. I carried off the big, white marble by the hair, and plunked it down by my discarded clothing. Turning away from the Doctor, I re-donned it. Good thing it was dark out. I sprang to Doctor’s side to check on him.

“You all right?”

He looked up at me in awe. “I’m more than all right. Wait … I thought you said you only had one enemy—the cold ones.”

“Yeah, so?”

“But …”

I threw my hands up in the air. “Cold ones … vampires … same difference. Can you set fire to that thing? And you need to hurry, the stench is burning my nose off.”

Leaning over, I picked up the screwdriver and handed it to him. He aimed his _lighter_ and incinerated the stinkin’ leech.

“Let’s go, it won’t be long before they pick up our scent, and geesh, ET. You are so slow. Try to keep up, huh?”

“Oi, it was all that dancing … sucked the juice right out of me.”

“Better the juice than your blood. Step on it, Doctor. We need to book.”

“Ooh, I love it when you take charge.”

Grabbing his hand, we began another sprint out of danger and into the safety of the TARDIS.

...............

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	7. A Way-Out Experience

  

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% % % % %

“Top banana! Leah Clearwater—best companion ever. That vampire never had a bloody chance.”

“Yeah, yeah. Stop with the accolades already.”

I immediately began pumping the Doctor for info on the mob of filthy bloodsuckers. “I have questions. What I want to know is, how in the hell these miserable ticks got way out here?”

“Well, actually, it’s the other way ’round. Where do you think vampires originated?”

I came straight up off the lounge. “Whaaaat? Are you sayin’ that those monsters are alien beings?”

“Exactly. And they are inhabiting most of the planets in the universe. Well … maybe just the ones they occupy alongside humans. They have to eat, well, drink actually. Blood. Lots of blood.”

“But how do they convert humans into these bloodsuckers?”

“Now _that_ is a good question. I’ll take you to the Face of Boe someday, and you can ask him. He’s lived for yonks and knows everything. He’s brilliant, I tell you. Trust me.”

**. . . . .**

“You sure know how to pick ’em, spaceman. First, we run afoul of an army of outer space ants, and today, after finishing off the glob yuck, we get chased by a vampire coven. What’s next, an audience with Jabba the Hut?”

“Oi, that’s kob yoch, and you said so yourself, it was not yucky. As for Jabba, technically, he’s not a Hut, he’s more of a Centellian slug.”

“Potato, po-tah-toe. Whaaateeever.

“And another thing. What’s to prevent that bloodthirsty gang from stormin’ in here?”

“Ha! That’s the beauty of the TARDIS. They won’t even notice us.”

“A big blue police box, sitting in the middle of nowhere, and they won’t notice. I find that hard to believe.”

 

“Here’s one more indispensable piece of data for you, earthgirl. The TARDIS has a perception filter. It blends in with its surroundings, so no one actually sees that it’s there, well, except for us. We’re invisible and safe inside.” His eyebrows rose, and a grin practically split his face in half.

As soon as he finished his sentence, the TARDIS began to rock violently, and I heard shouts and banging on the door.

With an eye roll, I snarked, “You were sayin’?”

“Hold on, that’s impossible. They can’t _see_ the TARDIS.”

“Wanta tell them that? Even if they can’t see us, they probably smelled us all the way from The Red Rocket. Angry too. We barbequed one of their own. So, you wanna get us outta here anytime soon?”

 _Here we go again_. He ran into the control room, with me, hot on his heels. “Get a good grip on the console. We’re taking off, and leaving this planet behind.”

He fiddled with the controls, and with a shout of “All systems go!” the TARDIS jettisoned into space once more. _Take that—you lousy ticks. Leah Clearwater, one, bloodsuckers, zero!_

**. . . . .**

I was getting used to space travel, and looking forward to our next stop. Doctor said we could go to a space station, where there were friendly creatures, not a mob of leeches, waiting to suck us dry.

In the meantime, talking to the Doctor was interesting. Never a boring moment. He was quirky, but charming, and I thought about what would happen when my journey by his side would end. I decided to ditch that type of thinking and find out all I could about him and this glorious ship.

Turning to him in the pilot’s seat, I asked, “Why is this spacecraft shaped like a police box anyway? It defies logic.”

“The truth is the chameleon circuits malfunctioned after landing in London in 1963. I tried to remedy the situation, but alas, it got so, that I became fond of the shape. And so, here we are chatting each other up inside my wooden box. Care for a Jammy Dodger?”

**. . . . .**

We continued our conversation while nibbling on the Doctor’s precious cookies.

“Tell me about the cold ones on earth.”

Swallowing a bite, I began, “The ticks settled near us in Forks. Some of them have special powers, mind reading, emotion controlling—one of them, Alice, even has visions of the future. She gives me the creeps.”

“Noooo, really? You know them by name, eh?”

“Yeah, goody for us shifters.”

I finished eating one of the Jammy Dodgers, and took a sip of my tea.

“Hey Doc, can you please hand me another cookie?”

“Aha, see, told you. Best biscuits in _any_ constellation.”

“Anyway, they never go out on a sunny day. They sparkle in the sunlight, and can’t keep a lid on their true nature. So they keep at home until there’s cloud cover. That way, their secret remains undetected.”

“Hold on. They don’t disintegrate into dust? Hmn, seemed to have adapted to their environment.” He shook his head, back and forth. “Oh, _that_ is brilliant.”

A frown instantly plastered itself on my face. How I hated even _thinking_ about those freaks. “No, it’s annoying. I wish they _would_ crumble into dust, filthy bloodsuckers. It’s their fault, I’m the way I am now.”

Doctor grabbed my hand squeezing it, his eyes afire. “Lucky for me. You literally saved me from the jaws of death tonight.”

I sighed. “Time to change the subject before I phase before your eyes. How long before we get to the space station?”

He released my hand and leaned toward the instrument panel, squinting at the dials. “Um … we should dock there by tomorrow evening, give or take a tick.”

**. . . . .**

One thing kept gnawing at me. “Doctor, why did you choose me to come traveling with you? I’m nobody special, no one important, just an ordinary human, barely scratching out a living on a rundown reservation.”

“Ah-ah-ah. In 903 years, I never met anyone who wasn’t important. And, I’ve found that there is no such thing as an ordinary human.”

Running my hands down my sides, I groaned, “But look at me. I mean, I could see if I was some beauty queen or somethin’. I’m not even that attractive.”

“Oh, you’re just talking rubbish now. I’ll never agree to that. You know when sometimes you meet someone so gorgeous, and then you actually talk to her, and five minutes later she’s dull as a brick? Then there are other people when you meet them, you think, ‘Not Bad. They’re okay.’ And then you get to know them and … and their faces just sort of become them. Like their personalities’ are written all over them. And they just turn into something so beautiful. That’s how I see you, Leah. You are _beautiful_ in my eyes. Beautiful, brilliant and special. Not ordinary at all.”

His words had me so choked up, I couldn’t utter a sound. So, I stood up, and gathered all the cups and plates, carrying them to the galley. After placing them in the ionic dishwasher, I went back to the control room to find Doctor yawning and stretching.

“Alright then, let’s call it a night, shall we? Another big day tomorrow.”

“You hope.”

“Nah, I know so.”

**. . . . .**

As I lay back on the pillow, thoughts swam in my head. In spite of the fact that we were chased by a pack of rabid bloodsuckers, and Doctor nearly bit the dust, it was a good day, a great day … one of the best days of my life. I had no regrets about walking over the threshold of the TARDIS that morning. Not a one. I closed my eyes and dreamed of myself and my Doctor traveling among the stars.

**. . . . .**

Excited—I was so excited … me, Leah Clearwater. Imagine that. I hopped outta bed the next morning and had breakfast ready even before the Doctor showed his face. The pancakes were done lickity-split, and I slid a couple onto his plate. Damn, if only I had this kind of equipment at home. I could really get used to this.

For the whole remainder of the day, I kept opening the door to the TARDIS, and peering out at the inky, star-dotted sky. I was nearly giddy with anticipation. At home, I had to keep the door tightly closed, to prevent the cold and rain, and in summer, the flies from entering.

Every time I peeked out, my eyes would dart here and there, searching for the space station. Finally at 7:00 P.M., or so, I spotted it and squealed with joy. I started jumpin’ up and down like a little kid on a pogo stick. Doctor grabbed me around the waist and began jumpin’ with me.

% % % % %

Oh, bollocks. I had Leah in my arms, celebrating the sight of the Desiri Space Station, but it was looming up rapidly, and I had to let go of her. Someone—and that someone would be me—had to land the TARDIS, and unfortunately, I didn’t own any Oompa Loompas to man the controls. Dash it all.

We materialized inside the docking bay, and Leah was tugging on me to get a move-on. Disembarking, we trundled onto the motorized walkway. A few minutes later, we were in the lift, and then stepping out onto the main platform. The thoroughfare was filled with creatures of every variety, and my earthgirl took it all in; her eyes alight with wonder.

“So what do you think, Leah?”

“There are no words to describe it,” she squeaked. “Thank you, Doctor.”

“My pleasure.”

As we passed by certain of the aliens, I whispered to her, not wanting to point at them and inure myself as _that rude_ _Time Lord_ , although, admittedly, I was. Rude, that is. Well, I was a Time Lord also, but that was beside the point.

“The reptilian people are called Silurians. They look fierce, but they can be reasonable. Some of them. On occasion. The flying nuns coming toward us, now they are the catkind, Sisters of Plenitude, and Humpty Dumpty sitting at the counter, he’s a Sontaran. They are the most warlike entities besides the Daleks in this universe.

“Oh, look, that alien in the red cape … she’s from the Forest of Cheem.”

Leah’s mouth dropped open. “Is she …?”

“Oh, yes, a living, breathing tree. She is literally made of wood. Hmn … the name of her species eludes me at the moment. Ah, well … it’ll come to me. Blimey, but  I once gave a tree person a hug. I suppose that makes me a tree-hugger, eh?”

“Very funny. Not politically correct, however.”

“I didn’t say it that loud.”

“But aren’t there bound to be telepaths here.”

I made a hissing noise between my teeth. “Ooh, right you are. Never thought of that.”

“Gawd, this is … this is just amazing. I can’t believe I’m rubbing shoulders with real live aliens.”

“Oi, what am I chopped, enok liver? You’ve been rubbing shoulders with me for days.”

“Yeah, but you’re more humanoid like me.”

“You have a point there, Leah.”

She turned to me and said, “Now that you mention it, how many days do you think have passed? On earth, I mean.”

Shrugging, I answered, “Doesn’t matter.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I have a time machine at my disposal. When we return, not a minute will have elapsed.”

“Right. I keep forgetting that.”

It suddenly occurred to me, and I whooped, “Oh, yes, Arborisians.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Arborisians. The tree people are called Arborisians. I suppose you could say they were Cheeemies, but that sounds too much like a food item from a Mexican restaurant. Chimichangas. Love them. I wonder if they have any here. Or tamales, or Sonoran enchiladas?”

Leah suddenly halted. “Never mind that. I think I’ve gone crazy. I smell Cinnabons.”

“It’s not exactly a chimichanga, but, fancy a Cinnabon then?”

“I _would_ be crazy if I passed up a chance for a Cinnabon. Lead away, spaceman.”

I hooked elbows with her, and brayed, “Allons-y. Two Cinnabons coming up.” We sauntered to the shop, and right up to the counter.

% % % % %

“This is unbelievable,” I moaned, my fingers covered in sticky frosting. “Who would have thought they’d have these way out here?”

Doctor chuckled. “One-stop shopping. There are merchants from everywhere.”

Shoving the last bite into my mouth, I chewed and swallowed, then licked my fingers clean. When I looked up, I noticed a line of peculiar beings—and that’s really sayin’ something—walking behind a tall bearded man.

“What on earth? I realize they’re aliens, but what are they carrying?”

The Doctor followed my gaze, and stood up abruptly, a frown on his face. “They’re Ood.”

“They’re ood alright, very ood. They look like that Davy Jones octopus guy.”

“Ah, never thought of that. What octopus guy?”

“You know, that guy from the movie, Dead Man’s Chest.”

“Quite right. That guy. But as I was saying … that’s a translation device in their hands. I don’t like what’s going on here, though.”

“Translate for the earthgirl, please.”

“Oodkind are very docile creatures. They live to serve others. Oods have three brains, and one of them, their hindbrain, they hold in their hands. They talk to each other through telepathy, but with the hindbrain removed, that connection is broken. The globe you see them carrying, is a communication sphere, an interface device. It’s been cybermetically attached to each one, to replace what normally would be their brain.

“Cutting off their communication with each other makes them more vulnerable to predatory people. That man you see leading, is selling them as slaves, and that’s illegal: in direct defiance of the Shadow Proclamation, not to mention inhumane.”

“What?”

“Oh, yes. And we are going to stop him.”

“We are?”

“Absolutely.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Oi, That Man...

  

 

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

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% % % % %

I confronted the man, threatening to expose him. “Do you want to voluntarily turn these Oodkind over to the authorities, or do I have to do it myself?”

“Ha, you and who else?”

“Quite right. _Who_ , and my companion here. I’m the Doctor, and a Time Lord. You got a problem with that?”

The man jerked his thumb to the left of him. “No, but he does.”

A taller, dark-haired man appeared with two police robots in tow. One of the robocops spoke in a tinny voice, “Citizen-Time-Lord, you-are-in-violation-of-section-four-of-the-Shadow-Proclamation. Harassment-of-a-fellow-citizen-is-not-permissible. You-will-be-detained-in-the-Desiri-holding-cells-until-further-notice. You-will-not-resist.”

“Cuff him, Dano,” the bearded man gloated with a smirk.

“Whaaaat? Whaaaaat?” I sputtered.

A black-leathered, tinman grabbed one of my arms, pinning it behind me. Pointing at _Grizzly Adams_ , with my free hand, I yelled, “Oi, hold on … this man—”

Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed Leah starting to blur, and eyes wide, I quickly shook my head. This was not the time or place for a heroic stand.

% % % % %

One of the robots withdrew his freakin’ night-stick and clubbed the Doctor on the back of the head, while I stood by, like a helpless moron. I had to admit tho’, he was right. There were too many to deal with, and I’d never had the opportunity to rumble with a tin can before. My spaceman slumped in the robot’s arms and was hauled off to a holding cell. I followed behind them. What else could I do?

The robots led me to the temporary detention center. There were only two cells. One was full; with humans, no less. The other held what the Doctor had previously called a Sonta-whatever. The officers spoke between themselves. “We-cannot-house-him-with-this-prisoner. The Sontaran-will-exterminate-the-Time-Lord. We-will-be-disassembled-for-this-lapse-in-judgement. The-office-of-the-DSS-Head-of-Security-may–have-to-do.”

The walking stiffs changed direction; the leader carting the limp form of my Doctor down a narrow corridor. I glanced around tryin’ to memorize the area. It was all so stark, without any embellishment, and every door and hallway looked the same. How could anyone find their way around this damn maze? Lucky for me, I could pick up Doctor’s scent, so it wouldn’t make any difference to this wolf.

We stopped at some double doors, and the second robot, barked, “You-will-stay-here-Time-Lord’s-Lady. You-are-not-authorized-to-continue-past-this-point. Return-to-the-main-deck,-now.”

_Over my dead body._ I pivoted as if to obey their stupid orders, and began walking away. As soon as the sound of their boots faded, I came back to the doors and snuck inside. I tried the knob on the first door I came to, but it was locked. The next one too, and the same with the third. Frustrated, I forced it open with my brute strength. I waited inside the dingy, cramped space ’til I heard the click of the boot heels on the ceramic floor pass by, then emerged, and sniffed the air, searching for Doctor.

% % % % %

My eyes popped open. Where was I, and how did I get here? Blimey, I was seeing double and felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. Aah, the back of my head had a lump the size of the lost moon of Poosh, and throbbed like hell. Oi—there were manacles around my wrist as well. What in the name of Gallifrey!

I searched my pockets with my other hand. Where was the bleeding screwdriver? One of those steel-plated blokes must’ve nicked it. Stretching my neck as far as I could, I attempted to see if it had been placed on the desk. Ah-ha, there it was, but fat lot of good it did me. I couldn’t reach it. Blast!

I sighed, and as a result, my head pounded mercilessly. A fine pickle this was. I told myself to be patient. Leah had proven herself to be a worthy opponent of vampires, and no doubt would best these thugs also. She would be here momentarily.

Humming a song I had learned from Oodkind helped to calm me, and soon, just as I predicted, the door crashed open, and in rushed my earthgirl.

% % % % %

The scent got stronger as I neared the second to last office. He was in there, no mistakin’ it. I jiggled the knob, and of course, it wouldn’t open. So, once again, I had to break the freakin’ lock. There he was, sitting on the bare floor, one handcuffed to a post. What a contrast to the Platform where we landed. The room was dirty, the walls unfinished, with pipes and wiring exposed. And yet, he was grinnin’ to beat the band. What was wrong with this picture?  “Leah,” he blared. “Ha, I knew this lot couldn’t outfox my wolf-lady. You are stone-cold brilliant, you are. I swear, you are.”

Frowning at him, I scolded, “Enough with the bablin’, already. We need outta here fast. Now, how can I free you of that cuff?”

“I don’t suppose you managed to nick a key from one of the tinmen, eh?”

“Get real, ET.”

“Alright then. Plan B. My screwdriver is on the desk. One zap, and I’ll be free as a goxo bird, just like Houdini, except better–looking.”

I picked the tool off the desk top, but as I handed it over to the Doctor, the door swung open, and a man in uniform burst in, a weapon aimed at my head.

Turning his gaze to Doctor, he snarled, “Drop it, mister.”

Doctor put the screwdriver down with a defeated sigh. 

Holstering the firearm, he said, “That’s a good boy. Now, what the hell is going on here?” He swiveled his neck to face me again and shot me a nasty glower. “I know why he’s here, but what are you doing in this office, lady.”

“I was trying to get him out of that cuff, moron. This was all a big misunderstanding.”

He pulled out his nightstick and tapped it on the palm of his hand. “Isn’t it always the way? My heart just bleeds for you.”

I walked forward, my eyes narrowed, my body beginning to vibrate. “It will, if you don’t let him go.”

The Doctor chimed in, appearing amused. “Watch it, bobbie. She has powers you don’t want to tangle with.”

The man jerked back as I started to shift. “All right, all right. Don’t hurt me. I’ve got a wife and kids.”

Instantly, I halted the phasing process and returned to human form. I mocked the imbecile, spouting, “Heard that one before. _Isn’t it always the way. My heart just bleeds for you_.”

Doctor trained the beam from the screwdriver on the locking mechanism, and the cuff clicked open, slipping off his wrist. He stood up ready to book, when another, older man entered the room.

“Not again! Gimme a break,” I groaned.

% % % % %

The grey-haired officer turned to the younger man, and asked, “Thomas, why isn’t this man in a holding cell?”

“Sir—the guards said they were afraid to put him in with the Sontaran.”

“Good thinking. I would’ve been ripped to bloody shreds. Well, maybe just bruised and beaten. Nah … definitely ripped to bloody shreds.”

Frowning at me, grey-hair inquired, “Who _are_ you?”

I moved forward, extending my hand. “Let me introduce myself. I’m the Doctor, and you are?”

He ignored the gesture. “I’m the chief of security, Carl Geurloin, and the man who will find another spot for your incarceration.”

Leah, at this point, was leaning on the edge of the desk, her eyes rolling in their sockets.    

Proceeding with my explanation, I began, “Oi, no need to get chippy about it. Your security guards mistakenly took me, prisoner, when I was only trying to prevent an illegal transaction.”

I noted a jot of interest in his eyes. “What kind of transaction?”

“You have several Oodkind, who are being shipped off to be chattel in the slave trade.”

Quirking one eyebrow, Carl asked, “And how did you come by this information?”

“I saw it. The Ood were carrying their individual communication devices. The shiny-white globes were a dead giveaway.”

Carl startled at this revelation, and grabbed a radio off his desk, rattling off orders to his team. “Yes, that’s what I said. Just find the Oodkind, and corral them into the conference center. I’ll notify the Shadow Proclamation to send over a transport to return them to their home planet. And I intend to apprehend whoever is responsible for this atrocity.”

Turning off the radio, the head of security then shook hands with me. “Thank you, sir. I had no idea this was going on at our base.”

“Can we go now?” Leah whined as she slid beside me.

“No. You will stay here tonight as our guests. I’m sure the director will agree to it. We’ll give you our best suite and dinner at our expense. You may leave after breakfast if you so desire. How does that sound?”

I faced my wolf-lady. “Leah?”

“Sounds good.”

When we left the office, following Thomas, she whispered, “It’s the least they can do. They owe us.”

% % % % %

“Oh. My gawd,” I squealed as I took a gander at the suite. “This is absolutely fabulous. Will you just look at this place?”

“I am, I am.”

I ran around, checkin’ out every nook and cranny. There was an entertainment room with a gigantic plasma screen TV, surround-sound audio speakers, and huge stuffed lounges. Featured against one wall stood a bar stocked with cold drinks and a ton of snacks. The bathroom contained a freakin’ Jacuzzi, for gawd’s sake. And the bedroom … sigh …

While I caught my breath, reveling in the luxury of it all, a knock sounded at the door. Doctor raised an eyebrow and gestured for me to answer it. A maid—at least, I thought it was a maid—stood in the doorway. She looked to be covered in blue-green, shell-like skin. It was speckled all over with tiny brown spots. Antennae sprouted from her pointed head, and two weird _thingies_ hung from her jaw.

The alien creature put out her hand; a credit card lay on her palm. “Chan, the director says please to use this credit at the mall on Platform Two. With his compliments, tho.”

Confused at her remark, I said, “There must be some mistake. Are you sure you have the right room? My name isn’t Chan.” I pointed at my spaceman. “And that’s the Doctor.”

She didn’t blink an eye. “Chan, no. This is correct room, tho.”

Doctor nudged me gently aside. “Hold on … Let me speak to her.” He stood before the alien and smiled. “Right, yes. Chan, hello, I’m the Doctor by the way, tho.” He took the card from her hand and whistled. “Chan, ah, a Dilithium Galaxy 1 Card. The sky’s the limit, literally. Tell the director, we thank him for his generosity, tho.”

Bowing, as she backed up, the maid replied, “Chan, you have wonderful visit with us, tho.” That being said, she left, and I shut the door.

“What’s with all the chan, tho, gibberish?”

“I know what you’re thinking, but she wasn’t talking rubbish. The elders of the planet Malcassairo have taught her to speak that way as a sign of respect; just as we say please and thank you. It would be considered rude not to preface her speech with chan, and end it with tho. The Malmooths are a very polite species.”

I sat on the comfy lounge. “I hate to say it, but she looked like a  … big bug.”

“Weeeelll … I suppose you could say she had insectoid features. Malmooths live underground in conglomerates, much like termites. They don’t eat wood though. Blimey, I don’t know what they eat actually. Probably plants. Smaller insects?”

“I’ve got a great idea. They can clean up on Antoris.”

“Still going on about those ants, eh?”

“I dream about them devouring me, and leaving my bones to bleach in the sun.”

“Gruesome thought, that. On a more cheerful, note, what say, we go down to platform two and scout out a place to eat. Let’s give it a bash, shall we?” Grabbing my hand, he waltzed with me to the door.

% % % % %

There were some clever little boutiques along the mall, and the restaurants were really cracking. We picked out Neptune’s Table for dinner. I liked that name … Neptune’s table. Had a nice ring to it. In actuality, the sign read Xo’ti’tlit ’kot. Translated it. Well, near enough. On the way back to our room, we’d go to one of the shoppes and buy some classy rags. Wouldn’t want to barge into the place not dressed properly.

We ate lunch at a cute little bistro, called Desira’s diner. Leah was amazed at the menu. It loaded onto a computerized device, and the entrees were categorized by planets of origin.

Leah’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Oh. My. Gosh. Hamburgers and fries.”

“Oi, fish and chips.”

“I think I’m in heaven.”

I winked at my beautiful companion. “And may I say, I’m looking at a bona fide angel.”

“Go onnnn … I bet you say that to all the girls you meet.”

“At this moment, just one in particular.”

The waitress approached the table a minute later and interrupted up my flirtatious shenanigans. Blast it. Time to eat!

 

 

 


	9. Puttin' On the Ritz

  

 

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

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% % % % %

Doctor took me to a fancy shop for evening clothes. We passed by a rack of sleepwear, and he held up a black lace nightie. Wigglin’ his eyebrows he said, “Blimey, this is totally inappropriate. Why don’t you go try it on?”

“You wish.”

He nodded, adding a whistle and a hiss.

I let out a huff and grabbed the stupid thing, and just for the hell of it, I took it into the dressing room with me. It was definitely inappropriate and sexy as all get out. Geesh. When I got ready to exit the room, a bathing suit was passed over the top of the stall.

“This one as well.”

I yelled through the door. “What are you a fashion consultant?”

“Nah, just a fan of pulchritude.”

The suit fit like a glove. Not bad. He had great taste.

I heard him outside the stall, “All right?”

“They both fit, if that’s what you’re asking. Are ya happy now? ”

“Just curious.”

“ _Sure_ you are.”

“And happy.”

**. . . . .**

I slung the two outfits over my arm, then hung them up outside the dressing area. After parting with the two outfits, I left to search for an evening dress.

Doctor was already at the checkout counter; his purchases bagged. “Ah, there you are. Find anything?”

“Yeah.” I handed the clerk a light-pink, slinky, number, some cosmetics, and a pair of white, high-heeled, strappy sandals, which she rang up speedily.

“I hope it didn’t cost too much. I couldn’t tell how expensive anything was. The tags were all in _alienese.”_

“No matter.” He waved the Galaxy 1 card at me. “I’ve got this.”

**. . . . .**

When we arrived back at our room, Doctor emptied the bags onto the bed, and there were the clothes I had hung outside the dressing stall.

“Oh, gawd, you didn’t.”

“Oh, yes, I most certainly did.  Anyway, it’s not like I’m personally paying for all this. Live a little.”

% % % % %

We got ready for our dinner, dressing in our new duds. Leah walked out of the bedroom in her finery, and I almost swallowed my tongue. I was feeling guilty as sin when I looked at Venus incarnate. I found myself comparing her to Rose … to all of my previous companions to be honest. It wasn’t fair. Leah was dressed to the nines, and none of the others got that chance, except for Donna. I didn’t feel anything for Donna, though. I secretly held a wee grudge against her for having the audacity to being a ginger and all. Petty of me.

When I finally got my vocal cords functioning again, I declared, “Moooolto beeeene, Miss Clearwater. I swear in the name of Gallifrey, you look positively smaaaaaashing!

“You cleaned up pretty good yourself, ET.”

I offered her my arm, and we were off to Neptune’s Table. Well, not actually … the restaurant called, Neptune’s Table.

**. . . . .**

Doctor had to interpret everything for me, including the meaning of the freakin’ translation. What was a baked gundark anyway, or sautéed stocirts? As a caution, I let doctor order whatever, and maybe it was better that I didn’t really understand what I was eating. Ignorance in this case was bliss, and surprisingly, the food was excellent. My taste buds applauded.

I had absolutely no idea what was served for dessert, but I wished my mom had been here to get a taste. It was heavenly.

After dinner, we strolled along the platform, hand in hand. I caught him glancing at me several times, and yeah, I snuck a few peeks at him too. He was all decked out in a tux, and looked so handsome, it was sickening. The black, satin bow tie was the icing on the cake, but the shoes?

“I can’t believe that you’re wearing Converse with that tux.”

He flexed his toes up and down, flaunting his defiance of style.  “Show me in the fashion rules where it says what shoes have to accompany this monkey suit.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Exactly. Some chap mindlessly decided upon the rules, and makes us slaves to them. Not me. I’ll die in my Converse. By the way, fancy taking off those torture devices you’re wearing? I’ll carry them for you.”

“My feet’ll get dirty.”

“I distinctly remember there being soap and water in our room.”

I grimaced, thinking that a little dirt on my toes beat aching arches for the remainder of the night. I stopped, yanked off the offending heels, and handed them over to my chivalrous escort. He put each sandal in separate pockets of his jacket, and pointing to his shoes, said. “Converse. Comfort before fashion, I always say.”

He looked down at my now shoeless feet. “See? Aren’t your feet breathing a sigh of relief? Cute feet by the way.” I shoved my shoulder against his, and he laughed.

“You win. My feet _were_ killin’ me.”

**. . . . .**

We strolled along for another half hour, window shopping. The malls on earth could never live up to this place.

I noticed a shop that sold stationery, and asked Doctor, “Do you think we could go inside?”

“Something you’d like to get?”

“Um …”

“Oi, don’t get all shy on me. You want something, speak up.”

“I’d really like to buy a journal so I can write down all we did together. I don’t ever want to forget a minute of this.”

“Oh, Leah. You’ll never forget me, or the fun we had. Well, maybe not all fun. We did have a bit of drama. But you do make a great point. Let’s take pictures as well.” He took out his cell phone and flashed it before my eyes. “Nexus 14.”

“Whoa. Wait a minute … There’s no such thing.”

“Not yet. It comes out in 2103. Fancy a selfie?”

Doctor gestured for me to stand by his side. We smiled and he snapped the photo. “There, maybe a scrapbook would be in order, unless of course, you put it on your iPad.”

“Don’t have one.”

“Oh, weellll, I just may have some lying about in the TARDIS. If I remember where I put them. I really should try to keep better track of things. Or, maybe you could organize things for me. How about it? Would you?”

“Gah! It would take more than a year to catalog all your stuff.” 

“But think of all the interesting objects de arte you can come across. Anyway, what else have you got to do?”  

“I have to be on my toes, to keep you outta trouble. That’s what.”

**. . . . . .**

When we walked into the shop, the clerk ran up to us, clickin’ her tongue a mile a minute in a peculiar alien language. She glared at me, and I backed up as her harangue blasted away in my face. Doctor answered her in the same dialect, making that weird clicking noise, then handed me my shoes.

“She says, _No shoes; no service_.”

“Oh for Gawd’s sake,” I muttered, slipping into the sandals.

I hurried and picked out a _leather-bound_ journal and matching album. Doctor pointed out that they were actually covered in the skin of a wocbal, whatever the hell that was. Anyway, he paid for our purchases on the card, and abruptly, turned back. “Hold on … paper. This is a stationery store. I imagine they sell paper, oodles of it.”

“Brilliant! You’re a genius,” I snarked.

Grabbing me by the shoulders, he spouted, “Now, don’t go swanning off on me, eh? One jail-break has filled my quota for the day, so wait here. I’ll be back in a tick.”

I stood, staring out the front window, waiting while he trotted to the rear of the shop. He scooped up two reams and paid for them.

As soon as we left the store, he said, “Let’s have your shoes. We still have a ways to go to get to our room, and the TARDIS is parked out back.”

% % % % %

On the way to the suite, I stopped off at the receptionist desk and talked to the clerk in Silurian.

“You certainly are a friendly guy,” Leah declared.

“I do my best.”

We no sooner reached the room, than the Malmooth housekeeper arrived with the extra blankets I requested from the receptionist.

“What’s all this, ET? You’re the tour guide. I’m just along for the company. We can both share the freakin’ bed. I trust you. You’re the Doctor.”

“That trust can only stretch so far, and in this particular case, you probably shouldn’t. Trust me, that is. Well, I’m not saying anything _would_ happen, but you look decidedly attractive tonight, and despite my two hearts and alien composition, I’m still a man, and you are quite the woman.”

Leah grinned at me. “Ha, the Doctor has the hots for me, huh?”

“Hold on … I didn’t say that. I’m just being cautious. I wouldn’t want any complications to interfere with our friendship.”

“Is that all? Coulda fooled me, Doc.”

She took the blankets from me. “Look, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here in the first place. I’ll take the couch.”

I grabbed them back. “No, you won’t. You’re my guest. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

With eyes flashing, she brayed, “Like hell, you will.”

We stood toe to toe in a tug of war over the two blankets, and I had to admit she was stronger than me.

All at once, she burst out laughing. “This is ridiculous. We’re battling over a stupid couch.”

She picked up one of the pillows and bashed me on the head with it. That started a pillow fight, and minutes later, we were panting from exertion, and uncontrolled laughter. We both plunked onto the couch catching our breath. She shoved my shoulder once more, and I turned to look at her. Molto bene. Leah was flushed, and with the color in her cheeks, I’d never anyone so beautiful in 903 years.

Our eyes locked, and she leaned forward. My hearts got the best of me, and I could not resist. My fingers seemed to possess an animation all their own, and I quickly found them ruffling through the tendrils of her hair. Cupping the back of her head, I drew her closer. Our lips met, and I nearly regenerated on the spot. Blimey, but she could teach kissing lessons to a Dalek.

After several glorious minutes of this amorous exchange, I put a halt to the proceedings. I didn’t want to, mind you, but it was getting a wee bit too heated. Loosening my hold on her—and actually, I hadn’t realized how tight I _was_ holding her—I stammered, “Oi, I think we’d better call it a night, Leah.”

“’Night, Doctor. You can have the couch, but if you change your mind about the sleeping arrangements, there’s a bed in the other room, and I’ll be in it.” She ended our encounter by tweaking my bow tie, and patting me on the chest, making me swallow like a planet was stuck in my craw. Then she gave me a wink that almost pitched me out of my seat. Blast it. I wouldn’t get much sleep tonight.

% % % % %

It took me forever to get to sleep. I was still reeling from that kiss. Damn, damn, damn, I was falling for him, and I had sworn I would never love or trust another man again. But, oi, molto bene.

Oh my gawd, I was beginning to sound like him. He definitely was gettin’ under my skin. The Doctor was adorable, brash, intelligent, and brave to the point of recklessness, and he possessed a sweet vulnerability that was so endearing. I even found myself beginning to lose my self-made wall of bitterness. It was crumbling bit by bit. I hardly ever swore anymore; I was sure it was because of my astro-nut. I realized too, that he had feelings for me. I could hear his breath catch, and his two hearts racing whenever he glanced my way tonight.

I hadn’t planned on any of this, yet it happened. I was just out for a ride, and a way to get out of the rez, and instead of sailing up and into the stars, I had fallen to his feet, and the stars were now in my eyes. _How could you do this to me, Doctor?_

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	10. The Medusa Cascade

  

 

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

                                                                                   Banner by LOS

% % % % %

Doctor was awfully quiet at breakfast. After last night’s closeness, this silence wasn’t what I expected. He held my hand on the way to the diner, but he just seemed so un-doctor-like. The energy was gone.

“Alright, Doc, what is it?”

“I think an apology is in order.”

“For what?”

He picked at his scrambled eggs. “I forgot myself last night. It was unconscionable.”

“Thanks a lot. So you regret making me happy.”

His head tipped up. “I made you happy?”

“Whadda you think, ET?”

“I don’t know what to think. This hasn’t ever happened before. Well, what I mean is, I never let my guard down so far.”

“903 years, and in all that time you never once fell in love?”

“Love, yes, but I didn’t act on it.”

“Are you tellin’ me I’m the first woman you ever kissed?”

“No, but it was always in extenuating circumstances.”

With an eye-roll, I shot back, “Whatever that means.”

“It means, it was necessary, not some willful act.”

A smile slowly crept up onto my lips. “Ah-ha, so you admit you _wanted_ to kiss me.”

“Weelll … we had so much fun beforehand, and you looked like a goddess, all smokey-eyed, and irresistible, and well … Oh, yes! I wanted to kiss you. I had no choice. You mesmerized me.”

“What a crock. I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to. You make it sound like I forced you.”

Pointing my fork at him, I said, “Answer me this, spaceman, did you like it?”

“Like it? Blimey, I loved it.”

“There ya go, then. You can kiss me anytime you feel like it. And just for the record, my wolf hearing picks up every thump of your hearts, and believe me, they were thumpin’ to beat the band last night.”

Doctor spouted, “Quite,” and shoveled some eggs in his mouth.

% % % % %

I didn’t enjoy lying to her. The truth was, love had come unexpectedly, and with it, the eventual pain of separation, and there was nothing I could bloody well do about it. I had to let her return to her home someday, and if I let this go on, both my hearts would break. I only meant to spare us sorrow, and so, I attempted to remain a bit aloof, but of course, bish-bosh-bash, and just like that, Leah saw through it. Interesting that her wolf senses could pick up on my physical reactions so readily. Dash it all.

After breakfast, we walked around the station and took pictures of anything of interest to her. Not to waste the Jacuzzi or Leah’s new suit, we soaked for a while as well. Then reluctantly, we dressed, took more photos, and packed up our belongings. I dropped off the key, and card, and we were off to the TARDIS **.**

I glanced around the control room, feeling the comfort of familiarity. “Ah … home sweet home.”

**. . . . .**

“Is this really your only home?”

“Not even home away from home. This is it. I’ve kept my whole life in a suitcase. I never really stayed in any one place. Maybe that’s the way it should be. You know … I’ve led my life like a gypsy.”

“Hmn … a gypsy, space traveler.”

Walking to the console, I placed my hand on the controls. “Anyhow, where to?”

“How should I know? I’m new at this.”

“Ooh, I know … the Medusa Cascade. Haven’t been there, since … let’s see now. Nah, that was when ... Well, it’s been a while, yonks in fact. So, fancy a peek at the Cascade?”

“Anywhere you say, Doc. You’re runnin’ this ship. I’m just a freeloading passenger. Go on, flip a switch, pull the lever and say it—allons-y!”

% % % % %

It seemed like forever before the TARDIS slowed down. I heard the Doctor exclaim, “Whaaaaat? Whaaaaaaat?”

Answering in kind, I echoed, “What? What is it?”

I followed the direction his finger was pointing at. “Oi, Look at this. It’s a space station.”

“So? We just came from one. What’s so unusual about this one?”

“So, it wasn’t there the last time I came through.”

“And that was …?”

“Yeah, but—”

A space vehicle rushed toward us, cutting off his comment. More space police, seriously?

An alien face, with blue, fur-covered skin and yellow eyes, appeared on the console screen. “Halt. Let me see your permit.”

Doctor muttered under his breath, “Permit? Since when?”

He whipped out a small black folder from his jacket pocket. It held a blank piece of white paper under clear plastic, which he showed to the pilot.

“Okay, seems to be in order. You’re free to land.”

“I wasn’t going to laaaaand. I just wanted to show my friend here, the cascade.”

“Good to go, Sir.” The creature saluted the Doctor, banked his craft, and slipped away.

I shook my finger at the Doctor. “I don’t get it. I saw it with my own two eyes; that paper was blank.”

Canting his head, he declared, “Well, in a sense, but not really. It’s _psychic_ paper. It displays whatever the person expects to see.”

“I believe you, Obi wan.”

**% % % % %**

We pulled up closer so Leah could get a better view, then I threw open the doors. “There she is; the Medusa Casacade.”

“Ohh … she sighed. “It’s so beautiful.”

“It _is_ beautiful, isn’t it? You know, there’s so much more that the average eye is allowed to see. If you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could have dreamt of.”

As we lingered on the fringes of the cascade, Leah asked, “What exactly is this place? I mean, besides being a gorgeous anomaly. It has to have some purpose for being here.”

I backed up a few steps. “Oh, yes. Quite right. It was a rift in the space/time continuum. I sealed it off eons ago. I suppose it’s nothing more than a tourist attraction now; hence the _space hotel_. There’s always some eager entrepreneur seeing an opportunity to turn a profit even out of a natural phenomenon. Look at the Grand Canyon, or Yellowstone Park back on earth.”

“You said it was a rift? How is that even possible?”

With my arms extended out to the side, I explained, “Actually, I don’t really know how it all came to pass. But, well, the universe is big. It’s vast, and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen. And with our finite minds, we can’t understand them, and so, we call them miracles.

“Anyway, let me know when you get the itch to move on. I’ve got a great destination in mind. Tropyco—sand, sun, and palm trees. No ants … or vampires. Well, at least not that I know of. I guess if you got out an OEG, you might find some ants mucking about. Probably not at the hotel though. Never saw a vampire on the planet either. They could be hiding during the day, however. I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Doctor …”

“Yeah …”

Looking over her shoulder at me, she whispered, “Do you mind? I’m trying to soak up all this beauty.”

“Oh, sorry. I’ll shut my gob now.”

**. . . . .**

I was anxious to show Leah paradise, and Tropyco was it—lush, tropical flora, scented sea breezes, a topaz ocean, and tall glasses filled with exotic juices and bitty brollies. If all went tickety-boo, we’d arrive the next morning.

% % % % %

Doctor wasn’t jokin’. This planet _was_ a veritable paradise.

“I’ve never been to Hawaii or Tahiti, but I don’t need to now. This place is heavenly. It’s so … green! And the smell. The fragrance is wonderful.”

He pointed to a building I assumed was a hotel. That’s where we’re headed.”

“We’re not stayin’ overnight in the TARDIS?”

“Au contraire, my little cabbage. I want you to have the full experience. The Hotel Carribea—nothing but the best for Miss Clearwater.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“No need. It’s my pleasure just to have you here with me to share all of this.”

**. . . . .**

The path to the hotel was lined with greenery and flowers; all the colors of the rainbow. I didn’t recognize some of them, but whatever. They were all beautiful.

The hotel itself, was awesome, and the interior took my breath away—anyhow, what was left of it.

When we arrived at the registration desk, Doctor ordered a room with two queen-sized beds. I snickered at the man. “Are you gonna hang a blanket between them, space prude.”

“I might. I dare not presume.”

“Got that right.”

**. . . . .**

The grounds—I swear—made my eyes pop outta my head. Gah! I got out my Nexus 14 and clicked away. My album would be bulging soon.

Doctor took me to The Hut for lunch, then onto the beach for a swim. After splashing around for a good half hour, we stretched out on a straw mat and talked.

“Somehow, I didn’t picture a trip among the stars would be so … I don’t know … normal.”

“Well, you see, there are so many inhabited planets, and the people on them live their lives just like you do on earth.”

I thought about that for a moment, then said, “Just like me, but not like you.”

“Nah … there’s not a bloke in the entire universe that lives like I do.”

“I feel sorry for you, spaceman. You must get awfully lonely, flying thru the cosmos all by yourself.”

He turned his head, his eyes locking with mine. “Why do you think I have you with me? The TARDIS is empty and cold, and silent. Well, except for the constant pulsations in the core. It’s nice to have company once in a while. Someone in for tea and conversation, and cake, eh!”

Smiling at him, I added, “And Jammy Dodgers.”

“Quite. Let’s not forget the Jammy Dodgers.”

I reached for his hand, and we intertwined our fingers. He kissed my knuckles and whispered. “I’m so glad I met you, Leah Clearwater.”

“Same here, ET.”

% % % % %

We lay side by side on that mat, and a while later, Leah applied some UV ray screen to my back, so I wouldn’t burn to a cinder, and I must say, I enjoyed the feel of her touch. I chatted her up with my usual witty banter, and reveled in her laughter. At one point, I sat up slightly to change my position, when Leah yelled, “Watch out!”

Shirking quickly aside, I heard a thud as a large teal-colored drupe landed where my head had just been. I could’ve been zonked to oblivion … well, at least to a less-than-alert state of consciousness.

“Oi,” I exclaimed. “A coconut. Blimey, I’ve faced all sorts of alien monsters, and to nearly be assassinated by a tree pod. That would be an embarrassing epitaph on my tombstone: _He succumbed to an assault by an arecaceae.”_

“A what?”

“It’s a coconut; family of arecaceae—genus: cocos nucifera.”

“But it’s blue.”

I picked up the hardened pod and turned it over in my hands. “So it is. Still a coconut though. Fancy a slice?”

Leah hoiked herself up on her elbows. “Yeah. I love coconut.”

I reached over to my shorts, lying on the edge of the mat, and retrieved my screwdriver from the pocket. With a stream of proton particles aimed at the husk, I cracked it open with a sonic blast.

With a giggle, Leah said, “Is there anything that screwdriver can’t do?”

“Oh, yes. It’s a very bad substitute for dental hygiene. Even on the lowest setting, my gums were bleeding. The tartar buildup was reduced to a bit of dust, but my teeth stayed really wonky for a good while.”

I thought Leah would fall over, she was laughing so hard. Personally, I didn’t think it was all that bloody funny.

“Oi, a little sympathy, earthgirl! My teeth ached for weeks.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. On Holiday

  

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

       Banner by LOS

% % % % %

Oh, bother … the day was coming to an end. Could I get the TARDIS to rewind and send us back to this morning again? Nah, too risky. These last eight hours were absolutely ACE. No monsters, no natural disasters, no drama, just Leah and I sampling the atmosphere on Planet, Tropyco.

After a dinner at The Tidepools, we walked hand in hand along the shore. It was quiet. The only sounds were the waves crashing against the shore, and the soughing of the palm leaves as the ocean breeze sifted through them.  

There was no argument about the sleeping arrangements this night, however, I did tell Leah, that I would change into my pajamas in the bathroom, and she could do the same at the bedside.

After a good night’s rest. I ordered room service for breakfast. Leah talked to the server, who answered, “Yes, I live nearby. Not in such glorious surroundings though.”

Leah looked at me when the attendant left. “Do you think we could do some slumming today? I’d like to see how the other half lives on this planet.”

% % % % %

Doctor rented a hover-craft for our trip to the other end of the town. I eyed him skeptically. “Are you sure you know how to operate this thing?”

“Piece of cake. I’ve driven these things, lots of times, well, maybe once or twice. Anyway, how hard can it be? Trust me, I’m the Doctor.”

 

I reluctantly got into the scary-looking contraption, and muttered, “I’ve heard that before.”

We buzzed around at a dizzying speed. I made him stop when I spotted a small hotel that looked like it sprang right out of a travel magazine for the Bahamas.

“Will you just look at this place? Any chance we could switch hotels?”

“You sure?”

“Doctor … you’ve seen where I live. This isn’t that far off in comparison.”

“Okie-doke. No time like the present. Let’s pack up our things, and spend our evening here tonight.”

“Great!”

**. . . . .**

He ordered adjoining rooms, and I knew enough not to waste my breath about it. The rooms were small, but clean and quaint. After unloading our belongings, we hopped back into the transport.

We _hovered_ all over the tropical planet. It was unreal—islands are small, and this planet was like one big island. Doctor explained, “There are two stars in this planet’s orbit, one on either side of the hemispheres, so both sides stay warm all year long, well … except for the poles, but even there the temperature doesn’t vary much from moderate.”

Stopping off by a roadside to admire some flowers, Doctor broke off a vine with tiny white flowers along its stem and placed it over my left ear.

 

Gazing at me, he swallowed thickly and said, “Oi! Now, I’ve done it. You told me I could kiss you anytime I wanted. Well, I want to, right this minute.”

I cocked an eyebrow and taunted him. “No one’s stopping you, so just go for it, Doc.”

Gah, we were standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean, with flowers blooming everywhere, a scented breeze billowing about us, and Doctor looking so damn cute. When he pulled me to him, and his lips met mine, I felt like I was falling. I had to cling to him to prevent myself from tumbling to the ground, and let it be said, I definitely was not the fainting type. What a riot— Leah Clearwater letting a hyper-active spaceman command her heart.

When we finally unlocked our lips, I could tell by the expression on his face that he thought he was makin’ a big mistake, just like the last time. Yeah, well, so? Mistakes made up your life, and some mistakes were earth-shattering, like this one, but in a good way. He needed to get over it.

% % % % %

Blimey, but I promised myself not to do that … not to get involved. I did that once; it was nearly the death of me. And now, the memory of Rose pricked at my conscience. But Leah wasn’t Rose. No comparison. She was brilliant, and every bit my match. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect woman. The problem was, she was human, and sooner or later we would have to say goodbye. My hearts would once again be crushed. I couldn’t deny it though, I was in love, and well, while it was glorious, it was dreadful at the same time.

Feeling her cleaving to me brought a rush of emotions to the surface. It was a struggle, but I switched off and became the doctor once more. Flipped back into my usual persona, we approached the craft, and she asked, “Can I drive this time?”

That comment jolted me into safety mode. “Oi! Do you have a death wish?”

“Whaaaat? That’s insulting. I drive SUVs and trucks back home. Gimme a break. Besides, you said, _easy-peasy_. How hard can it be?”

“All right, but that was when I was piloting the bloody transport.”

“Trust me, I’m the shapeshifter. I have great reflexes, better than yours, I’d bet.”

“But—”

“But, nothin’. Put your money where your mouth is, ET.”

I deduced that there was no deterring her. I took her by the hand, saying,  “Come along, Leah.”

**. . . . .**

I pointed out all the instruments and gave her a quick course in hovercraft maneuvering, then handed her the crash helmet. “Remember, the craft follows the movements of your head, so unless you want to bank to the right, forget I’m sitting next to you. Look straight ahead until the time you need to change direction.”

She donned the helmet. “I can heal fast, with or without the helmet. What about you?”

“Oh, well, I can always regenerate if you get me killed.”

Even with the headgear on, the ends of the mashed flowers protruding, and the rolling of her eyes, she maintained her beauty. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, space-idiot.”

She punched it, and we were off. More worried about her safety, I kept an eye out for trouble. I had to admit though, she drove like an ace, with myself as an astounded passenger.

Arriving at the hotel, she shut down the vehicle and jumped out. “Gawd, that was amazing.  The speed, the smooth steering. It handled like a dream. I didn’t get ya killed either.”

“Fluke. An absolute fluke.”

% % % % %

Dinner was early this evening. At any rate, the sun in this hemisphere still shone brightly. All the same, we returned to our rooms to change. I started to feel rather melancholy for some reason. The Doctor was holed up in his room, and I wanted him to come to me, but more than that, I ashamedly admitted to myself that I craved his touch.

I sat in the doorway, waiting, and hopeful that he’d see me there, and drop his guard. Being a seductress was not one of my talents, but this time, I tried.

He finally shot outta his room in his highly frenetic manner, and spotting me, halted; his eyes big as flying saucers. Doctor crept closer ’til he stood over me. I looked up and noticed tears in his eyes. “Leah, I …”

My world came crashing down on me. “Don’t say it. You’re sorry … again. I can see it written all over your face.”

Looking down at the _earthen_ tiles, he shook his head slightly, and speaking in a low voice, said, “I can’t, I just can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

Now, I was getting irritated. Did he havta be such a damn Boy Scout? “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

“You’re young, and I’ve had more experience with this sort of thing.”

“Coulda fooled me. Look, you don’t want me, that’s obvious, so you can stop with the lame excuses.”

“No, that’s total rubbish. It’s not your fault, so don’t ever think that. You’re beautiful ... and brilliant.”

“Then what the hell is it?”

Doctor crouched down next to me. “You’re human, and I’m … I’m not.”

“No duh, spaceman. So what?”

“So whaaaat? What if something unexpected should happen? We’re two different species. We may create a monster.”

“Is that what’s worrying you? Listen up—I’m a dead end, reproductively speaking. I can’t conceive a child, okay? So, you’re safe; I’m safe.”

“But that isn’t all. I swore to you that I’d return you home safely after our year is up. I can’t let complications interfere with that. I intend to keep that promise. This is no life for a human.”

Scowlin’ at him, I barked, “So, you’re gonna bum around the universe, goin’ everywhere, and nowhere all by your lonesome? That’s nuts!”

He sat down and pulled up the shirt sleeve that I had purposely slipped down one arm. “It’s all I’ve ever known.”

“Now, who’s talkin’ _rubbish_? You’re in love with me. I know you are. If you’re such a genius, then, how can you ignore that?”

“I’m not ignoring the fact, I’m just telling you it can’t work. I failed miserably at it for the last 900 plus years. I wish I’d never kissed you. It was stupid of me to start this in the first place. It’ll only bring us both pain.”

I stood up, ready to flee from the humiliation of it all. “Forget it. So much for my powers of seduction.”

He rose at the same time. “Hold on … not true. Why, you could seduce a Cyberman—no doubt about it.”

Running into the room, I shut the doors, leavin’ him standing outside. _Stupid, freakin’ spaceman!_

% % % %%

Blimey, that went over like a Sontaran ship with a faulty ionic drive transducer. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, well, spurned, actually. Did she realize how hard it was for me to turn her down? And would she ever speak to me again?

Love is the most powerful substance in the universe, even though it can’t be seen with the naked eye. It’s felt with every atom of one’s body, so why couldn’t I let it fill me for once in my miserable life? Why was I always shutting it out, swanning away from it?  

I had to make it up to her. But how? I got back into the hovercraft and sped off to a souvenir shoppe. A pendant caught my eye. It was a circular cabochon, orange in color, with gold and yellow flecks, reminiscent of my homeworld, Gallifrey, so long ago destroyed. I’d give it to Leah as a memento of our sojourn together.

Next destination—a sweet shoppe. Never had blue candy before. I’d bet Leah hadn’t either. And did she like coconut? Oh, yes, she did.

I stabled the craft in the _carpark_ behind the hotel and legged it to her room.

Rapping softly on the door, I said, “It’s me, Leah. May I come in?”

Leah was still bloody upset with me, and she blared, “Go away, Doctor! Leave me alone.”

With pleading in my voice, I intoned, “Please. I have something for you.”

The doors abruptly swung open. “What the hell do you want now? Not me, that’s for sure.”

I threw my hands up in the air, the box clutched in one of them. “I come in peace … well, with a peace offering, anyway. Whether or not you accept it, is entirely up to you.”

She plunked down, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

I had second thoughts about giving her the pendant at this moment. Maybe I’d hang onto it, until our final farewell. Smiling, even though both my hearts were thumping erratically, I handed her the wrapped package, which she tossed onto the mattress, beside her. “And this is supposed to atone for you acting like a freakin’ jerk?”

Her eyes narrowed much like an Athabukin Basilisk.

Trying for nonchalant, I said, “Nah … I just thought you might like them.

“Budge up.”

Shoving her aside slightly, I sat next to her.

She turned her face to me. No reply. Just her stare. Unblinking, I might add.

“Look, can’t we wave the white flag, and declare a truce?”

Silence.

“I told you I was sorry, and I am … so, so very sorry. Can’t you accept my apology?”

Still no answer.

Sadly, I proposed the alternative, as I stood. “Alright, message received. Do you wish me to take you home in the morning?”

“No … Gawd, you are a dolt sometimes. How can you know and understand so many things, and yet be a complete idiot about so many others.

“I’m very hurt, Doc, but I’ll forgive you this time.”

“So, if you’re staying with me, I want us to be friends. Can we—be friends, I mean?”

After a loud click of her tongue, she ranted, “Dammit, why am I such a sucker? I guess so.”

I sighed in relief. “Thank you. This is goodnight then.” I leaned down to plant a peck on her lips, but she turned her cheek to me, not that I blamed her one little jot. In her mind, my prior behavior was beastly, never mind the honorable intentions of it all. But I was not a tosser, never was, never could be. I cared deeply for her, willingly or not.

 

Sitting a few minutes in my room, I scrutinized the jewelry I bought her. It would be so hard to let her go. Then I went to bed, happy at least for the time being, knowing that we made amends.

...........................

A/N: All illustrations by LOS. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


 


	12. In the King's Court

  

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

              Banner by LOS/manip by LOS

It was quiet, peaceful, and the scenery to die for, but I missed the chaos and excitement in traveling with my madman with the box. I didn’t want to appear ungrateful while lappin’ up all this serenity, but gawd, I was gettin’ bored, and luckily, I didn’t havta say a word. One morning, the Doctor broached the subject, himself.

“Time really does fly. I mean that literally. Well, especially if you have a TARDIS at your disposal. Anyway, I can barely believe a whole week has passed here on Tropyco, and even though I hate to say goodbye to the blue coconuts, sunny skies, and bananas, we should go. By the way, love bananas.”

Spearing a slice of the fruit from his breakfast tray, he waved it in the air. “I actually invented the banana daiquiri at one of Madame de Pompadour’s parties. I was sozzled at the time, and that’s when I swore off alcohol for good. Haven’t touched a drop since.”

After a couple of chews, his eyes widened. “Hold on … Here I am, making the decision to leave. You didn’t want to stay another couple of days, did you?”

“It’s your call. You own the ship, there’s a whole universe out there, Doc. And I’m getting restless. So, what are we waiting for?”

“Quite. Eat up, then. Allons-y.”

Doctor let me pilot the transport back to the rental center. I guess it was his way of appeasing the wrath of the shape-shifter. Once again we were ensconced in the TARDIS, and _muckin’ about_ among the stars, as Doctor would say.

**. . . . .**

For months, I accompanied the Doctor. I witnessed the creation of the earth, walked on Jupiter, and other planets, the names of which I can’t pronounce. He took me to Barcelona, and it wasn’t the city in Spain. I met the chieftain of Nimich Ohe, and witnessed first-hand the subterranean homes of the Malmooth. The things I saw boggled my mind. My gawd, I never wanted this time with him to end, whether or not we entered into a relationship that was more than platonic. Every day was a new adventure, and the Doctor surprised and entertained me constantly.

Then, one afternoon, as I sauntered toward the galley, I felt the TARDIS shudder now and then.

“Oi, what in the name of Gallifrey is wrong now?”

Doctor whipped out a stethoscope from one of his pockets, which he informed me, were bigger on the inside. Of course, they were. Why should that surprise me?

He listened in various spots on the console for a few minutes, nodding his head.

“So, are we ready to assume the crash position?”

“Nah, but we’ll have to make a pit-stop. We’re out of gas, earthgirl. Well, ionic power actually.”

“Whaaaat? That’s an excuse I’ve heard before. Anyhow, should I be worried that we’ll be lost in space?”

“I’m the Doctor. I’m never lost; well, hardly ever, disoriented, um, yeah … but lost? Never!

“Anyhow, off to Cardiff to refuel.”

Was he sayin’ we were headin’ back to earth? “Cardiff? Ya mean Cardiff, Wales?”

“The very same.”

“Why Cardiff?”

Remember the rift I’d been blathering on about? It so happens that it opened up elsewhere—in Cardiff to be exact—before I closed the gap. So, I park my little beauty there at the rift to soak up the lingering radiation that bleeds through it.”

His eyes sparkled as he placed the stethoscope into his pocket. “Ooh, I know, when we’ve finished refueling, we can travel to the 1500’s. Fancy a spin to the past? We can get a dekko of Henry VIII’s court?”

“Are you serious?”

“Never more. We’ll track down a wormhole, dive in, then coast along to save on energy until we can chart a course to earth.”

“Phtt! Great … runnin’ on empty.”

“Trust me, I’ve done this before. Oodles of times.”

For being a genius, it was unbelievable how stupid he’d been. He’d done this before? Why? “Don’t you have a gas gauge or something to warn you that fuel’s getting low?”

“As a matter of fact, I do, or I did before I accidentally cracked the glass casing with my hammer.”

“Didn’t it ever occur to you to _fix_ the damn gauge?”

A grin appeared on his face. “Brilliant. I may just do that very thing, when I have enough time that is. I don’t fancy doing a botch job.”

**. . . . .**

It was slow goin’ to earth, after tearin’ through the wormhole. The TARDIS practically limped to the rift. Three whole days to find the galaxy shortcut and five more to Cardiff. In the meantime, I ate cake, drank tea and listened to the Doctor tell me about his fabulous adventures.

**. . . . .**

With the TARDIS powered up, we arrived in the 16th century, right inside the walls of King Henry’s court. Before venturing outside, Doctor had me put on one of the costumes for that era, and when I emerged from the dressing room, he whistled. “Blimey, I’d best keep my eyes peeled, lest one of these cavaliers starts groveling at your feet, or worse yet, goes swanning off with you.”

Was he kiddin’ me? “Ha! That’ll be the day.”

“Hold on … you think I’m ribbing you? Not so—these men are a randy lot, and you being a tidy, exotic female, well, you can see the problem, eh?”

“Must I repeat? I can handle myself, as you well know.”

“Oh, but, using that talent of yours could jeopardize the whole timeline of history.”

“You’re gonna give me a complex, ET. I promise not to go off, half-cocked. Have a little faith.”

I looked him up and down. “Wait a minute. I don’t see that you’ve changed your clothes. If I havta squeeze myself into this damn strangulation device, then you should suffer too.”

“Can’t stand the tights. They give me a snuggie. Ooh, I know …” Holding open the front of his jacket, he said, “I’ll explain these are from the New World, and by jings, it won’t be a lie either.

“Let’s hie to the courtyard, shall we?”

I grumbled, “Okay for now, but later on, I’ll havta phase and run off some steam, after wearing these rags. I feel like I’m suffocating in them. How did these women breathe in this freakin’ time? No wonder they were always fainting.”

“Wouldn’t want that now, would we?”

“Absolutely not!”

**. . . . .**

Waltzing into the courtyard, we were met by a cavalier, who on seein’ me, suddenly brightened up, his mouth widened in a smile. “Strewth, what have we here? Mine eyes hath ne’er lit upon such a heavenly apparition.”

Bowing, and taking off his velvet cap, he waved it forward in an elegant flourish. “Sir Percival Dudley, at thy service, milady.”

He took my hand, kissing its surface while Doctor rolled his eyes. “I prithee, what is thy name? For I shall surely die if thou wilt not give it me.”

“Oh gawd, how would I change my speech to suit the times? I decided to keep my comments short and sweet. “Leah,” I answered.

“And thy surname?”

“Clearwater, if you please.”

He sighed, never breaking eye contact. “Surely, thy name becometh thee.”

“I thank you, Sir.” What the hell else could I say?

“Wouldst thou do me the honor of allowing me to escort thee to the garden?”

I turned to Doctor who raised his eyebrows and shrugged so helpfully. _Thanks a lot, Doc._

“It would be my pleasure, but only if my friend may accompany us.”

“Thy wish is my command, Madam.”

Sir Percival offered me his arm, and we strolled—with Doctor bringin’ up the rear—to the beautifully manicured gardens. I felt like Alice in Wonderland, walking thru’ the maze of hedges, but without the cards painting the roses red.

“Will the King visit the garden do you think?”

“Every day … perchance thou mayest see him forthwith.”

Just then, a group of men and women of the court on horseback approached a nearby bower. There he sat in the saddle, in all his glory, Henry VIII … not the Henry in the familiar portraits I’d seen in books, but a young, virile Henry.

 He glanced up, and spotting us, gestured for us to come forward. He then walked to the garden bench beneath the bower and seated himself.

Sir Percival spoke. “The king biddeth us to an audience with him. Come … I shall present thee to his majesty.”

I hesitated, glancing at my poor, ignored companion. “Oi, don’t bother a tittle about me. I doubt if his lordship wishes to be properly introduced to a lowly peasant such as myself. Go on then, chance of a bloody lifetime.”

Smiling, the King said, “Come thither, there is nothing to fear.”

“Your grace,” Sir Percival addressed him, “’Tis with great pleasure that I present the Lady, Leah Clearwater, from the New World.”

Nodding, Henry replied, “Ah, to be sure.”

 

I was struck dumb; a blitherin’ idiot. I stood before one of the most famous, if not infamous, kings of all time, and couldn’t think of a thing to say. And, gawd, the man was talking to me!

He leaned forward slightly. “Thou mayest speak freely, Lady Leah. No one here shall hurt thee, else they shall face the wrath of the king.”

“I … I don’t know what to say. I’ve never seen nor met a king before, let alone, one so famous as your … thyself.”

“Famous? Thou hast heard of me then?”

“Yes, your fame has spread throughout the New World.”

“Heareth that, Sir Percival? The lady swears that I am famous. I think I should like to converse more fully with her.”

He smiled, and said, “Thou art hereby dismissed—thou and this actor in the peculiar stage costume.”

As we began to turn about, Henry added, “Not thee, Lady Leah. I should like a word with thee.”

Not knowing what to do, I glanced at Doctor. “Whaddya think, ET?”

Doctor seemed nonplussed. “It’ll be fine, Leah. The king beckons and who am I to stand in his way. I’ll be around if you need me.”

% % % % %

Well, I guess three _was_ a crowd. “Show me about the castle then, Sir Percival?”

“As thou wisheth, so shall it be.”

**. . . . .**

“Don’t you get a bit lost in a place this vast?”

“Not so, ’tis as familiar to me as the back of my hand. I have traversed these rooms even as a youth.”

No sooner had he spoken those words then a red-faced man, apparently flustered, approached us. “Sir Percival, thy mother seeketh thy presence.”

“How doth she?”

“I believe she hath taken ill, Sir.”

“I come anon.” Turning his attention to me, he said, “Excuse me, I must away. My mother hath need of me.”

“No problem. I’ll see myself out.”

He nodded and hurried down the corridor with the agitated herald.

**. . . . .**

Alone at last, to my own devices. Always wanted to know what was behind those closed doors. Ooh, the throne room. That should be a jolly adventure, eh?

I went straightaway to that very room, thanks to Percival’s brilliant talent as a tour guide. Didn’t get to see the interior, though. The entrance was of course locked. Not an obstacle to the Doctor, however. One zap of sonic power from my screwdriver, and voila … open sesame.

The room was festooned with tapestries, punctuated at intervals with royal portraits, as one would expect, and there on the dais loomed the throne of the king. Beside it, I saw a small table with a crown thereupon. His crown ... King Henry’s-bleeding-crown. Well, that was careless of him. Imagine, leaving a solid gold, jewel-encrusted crown lying about, where anyone clever as I am could make off with it. Not only that, but right next to it sat a chalice with gems embedded in the bowl. Oi—no guards, watchdogs or alarms of any kind! Henry certainly had no qualms about the loyalty of his subjects. He apparently mistrusted no one of his court, and at this moment, not even a Time Lord with a sonic screwdriver in his pocket.

I stared at the crown; dare I try it on? What the hell, the temptation was too great. I held the symbol of sovereignty in my bare hands, turning it over and over, then on impulse, placed it on my head. Blimey, but it was a tight fit. Heavy too. No wonder it drove kings mad. What a blooming headache it gave one.

Sitting upon the throne, I pretended to mete out just decrees and judgments. Leah would no doubt point out how ridiculously childish I was behaving. Well, I couldn’t really dispute that, but oh, what fun.

The hard seat of the throne began to wear on my nether parts, and my head hurt. _Fun’s over._ So I stood, ready to leave. Pushing up on the crown, I sought to remove it. Uh-oh. Blast—it was stuck tight. Trying again, I pulled up on it and attempted to rock it side to side. It seemed to be glued to me like the sweet, sticky glop that filled the cells of the Terradite hives of Gorme.

With a defeated slump, I settled once more on the throne and thought about how I could escape this heinous predicament. It was a sure bet that the palace guards would easily spot a man in peculiar clothes, walking down the hall with the king’s crown sitting atop his head.

 


	13. Hark, Thou Art a Witch

  

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

         Banner by OTB

% % %% %

Oh, bollox, what a sticky-wicket this was. It called for drastic measures, since I didn’t fancy having the executioner lop my head off just to retrieve the blasted crown. Hold on … last resort. I took out my screwdriver, and set it on low power, hoping to burn through the metal, but avoid scorching my hair. Well … my brain, actually. I could always regenerate my hair. Truth be told, I could regenerate my brain too, but I’d kind of gotten used to _this_ brain, and who knows what disastrous anomalies would pop up in the process of replication. Why, my whole personality could go sideways, and away with it, my wit and charm.

This predicament rivaled the time I narrowly escaped Marc Antony when he found me with Cleopatra in her boudoir. I was only helping her decipher some ancient hieroglyphics, but Antony wouldn’t accept my explanation, and well, it was useless to explain while I was running from his sword anyway, which I must say, looked exceedingly sharp.

**. . . . .**

I crossed my fingers figuratively, as I aimed it toward my temple, the memory of my bleeding gums not too reassuring. Tricky business, that, but my go-to-tool did the job, slicing a neat line in the gold, enough so that I could extricate my head. Then, I only had to re-seal the seam so Henry wouldn’t notice, and see to the burn on the side of my forehead.

Sauntering nonchalantly toward the main hall, I passed by a mirror. Oi, there it was—a red streak right where I aimed the screwdriver. Painful too. Luckily, Sir Percival had alluded to the surgery at the castle, boasting of a resident physician on site.

The doctor there, patched up _this_ Doctor, applying a soothing balm along the angry red stripe. I told the healer, in answer to his inquiry, “No more falconry for this man. The blooming raptor could have plucked my eye out.”

I was out and about in a short time, and yet, in all my travels, I hadn’t bumped into my beautiful companion, once. Where could she be? I had an inkling, but hoped my supposition was faulty.

% % % % %

Waving one arm in a wide outward arc, the king explained, “And this, Lady Leah, is my private chamber. Very few earn the privilege to see it.”

“Won’t the queen object to you bringing me here?”

“Nay, Catherine is visiting her brother in Spain. She shall be gone for another fortnight. And ’tis nary a secret that we are not getting on well. The woman is moody, not of a cheerful disposition, such as thyself. Ye gods, her tears bring me nothing but vexation. Torrents of tears … and her majesty does not seem to deplete her supply, much to my chagrin.”

“Hmn … I see.”

Looking around the room, I took in the corbeled ceiling, touched the fabric of the opulent curtains, and admired the statuary and artwork adorning the walls. Then obviously, a massive four poster bed imposed its presence in the room. There was no ignoring it.

“Come now, is it as thou hast expected?”

“It’s beautiful.”

Henry offered me his hand. “Sit ... I wish to sup here with thee.”

He helped me into an intricately carved chair at a small table and clapped his hands. “Guard!”

A tall bearded man entered, his heavy boots thumpin’ on the tiled floor.

“Ah, Robert, Lady Leah has agreed to dine with me. See that my meal is brought here.”

What? Did I agree? I didn’t remember sayin’ a freakin’ word.

“Yes, sire,” the guard replied, bowing.

**. . . . .**

I went along with Henry’s plan for dinner just for the helluvit. Six servants walked in, carrying trays of food. Talk about overkill. There was enough set out for the whole guardhouse. If I wasn’t so hungry, I would’ve objected to bein’ rail-roaded into eating at the king’s table. I couldn’t complain about the cuisine though, it was delicious ... loin of beef with brown sauce, roast goose, asparagus with a kind of hollandaise, sugared carrots, glace fruits, and plum duff for dessert.

With dinner eaten, Henry asked, “Wouldst thou enjoy a visit to the stables? We could ride into the countryside. The weather is amenable today.”

“I’d love it. Lead away, your highness.”

“Call me, Henry, milady.”

“As you wish, Henry.”

**. . . . .**

Not surprisingly, the stables were huge, and the horses well cared for. I was helped upon an animal by the groom. I’d never ridden side-saddle before, and since I was a little girl, I hadn’t used a saddle at all.

Henry led us out of the stable and toward the highway, moving his horse along slowly to accommodate me, the _helpless female_. If only he knew …

When we veered off the road and into the country, I prodded my horse, and galloped away, leaving Henry to eat my dust.

“Lady Leah,” he shouted, “wherever did thou learn to ride thus?”

“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” I proceeded to get off my animal, tuck my skirt up between my legs, and re-mount. I gave the horse free rein, allowing the beast to race as fast as he wished.

Henry looked stricken. “Milady …!”

I snickered, exhilarated to leave the King of England behind me, and utterly befuddled. I shouted over my shoulder. “Try to keep up, Henry,” and kicking the horse’s flanks, I sped into the surrounding hills, laughin’ all the way.

When the king reached my side, he grinned at me. “The lady is an able horseman, I see. It is a rare day when the King of England is bested by a mere woman. This calls for a reward of sorts.” He instructed, “Follow me back to my chambers. I have something for thee.”

**. . . . .**

Retrieving an ornate wooden box from a chest of drawers, he said, “Milady, wouldst thou close thine eyes?”

What the hell, I shut them tight, and sensed that he had come up behind me. I felt a cold metal chain settle against my neck.

In a whisper-soft voice, I heard, “Thou mayest open them.”

I peered down at the jewel dangling from my throat and gasped. It was a large ruby medallion, surrounded by several good-sized diamonds, on a heavy gold chain.

Was he crazy? “Oh, gawd, I can’t accept this. It’s very generous of you, but you hardly know me. It’s just too much.”

“Say no more. I give it freely and with great pleasure. It is but a mere bauble. What benefit to be king and not be able to bestow gifts upon my subjects?”

“No, I can’t.” I began lifting the necklace from my neck, and Henry’s hands suddenly enclosed mine.

“Wilt thou insult me thus, by refusing it? I am thy sovereign, and it is a gift I desire thee to have.”

I sighed. I must’ve been outta my mind, but I kept his gift draped around my throat.

**. . . . .**

Henry walked to the door, opened it and beckoned to his guard. “Send in my quartet. I long to sing a ballad for my guest.”

The musicians arrived, played a few tunes, and then Henry stood, bowed to me, and sang one of his compositions, accompanied by strings and flute.

Smiling, I winked at him. “So, you write music. That was” (I nearly choked on the word) “ _lovely_. I’m impressed.”

“’Tis one of my greatest joys.”

“I can see that.”

With a wave of his hand to the musicians, Henry said, “I thank thee. That is all. Thou art dismissed.”

**. . . . .**

Night was approaching, and I was getting tired. The king gestured to the lounge on the far wall. “Art thou not weary after this long day?”

“A bit. I think I should retire for the night.”

“Oh, but stay a while longer. Come, let us sit upon the lounge where we can get more comfortable.”

We no sooner, sat our butts down on the lounge, when Henry began _fondling_ the bauble he gave me. I didn’t object at first, but very slowly, his head inched nearer, and his nose and lips began nibbling a trail along my throat and ear. _Here we go … Just as I expected._

With his weight pressed against me, I quickly found myself lying flat on my back. When I attempted to rise again, Henry pushed me gently back, kissing me urgently, his hands lifting my skirt a few inches.

“Not so fast, Henry,” I hissed.

“I prithee, Lady Leah. It is my desire to have thee.”

“No … I don’t care if you’re the king of the universe. My body is my own, and you have no claim to it.”

Frowning, he whined, “No claim? Thou hast accepted my gift. Didst thou not think that I would expect some token of gratitude in exchange?”

“The answer is still a-big-fat-no.” I threw the necklace at him. “You can have your stinkin’ gift back. Now let me outta here.”

He grabbed my wrists, and with narrowed his eyes, warned, “I shall not let thee leave. I shall have thee yet, whether thou will it or not.”

“Over my dead body!”

Henry became frustrated and angry. I guess no woman had ever turned him down before. He got really aggressive, but my alter ego was getting riled at the same time as well. I fought him off to no avail, and all at once, it was a moot point, ’cuz my wolf took over. I began to vibrate, and startled, Henry released me. In half-phase now, I heard him say, “Hark, thou art a witch.” Then, shouting to his guards, he directed, “Lock this woman in the tower!”

Great, I always wanted to visit the Tower of London, but not especially as a prisoner. No matter, I’d get outta this jam fast enough, and I wouldn’t need the Doctor to help me either. Where was he, anyway?

 

Four soldiers entered the room, and just that quickly, I stopped phasing. I glanced over at Henry. He was shakin’ badly, almost as much as I had been, ha! Then he sat down, among the stuff that got knocked over in the tussle.

% % % % %

Blimey, but it was getting dark out, and I still hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Leah. After eating some dinner in the TARDIS, I went out searching for her; my screwdriver—on Leah detection mode—leading the way. I hadn’t gone far when Sir Percival rushed toward me.

“Thank the stars, I have found thee. The king has declared Lady Leah a witch and is to be summarily executed. They are building the pyre as we speak.”

“Whaaaat? Why would the king do such a thing?”

“I know not. I cannot presume to know the mind of the king, only that he has decreed her to be a witch, and judgment is to be meted out swiftly. My thought is that she may have rebuffed the king’s advances. ’Tis no secret that he has a reputation with the ladies.”

“Quite, but I guess, rather than let his pride suffer, he’d vow to _not suffer a witch to live_ , eh? Ignorant fool.”

I strode off with him, asking, “And where, pray tell, is this execution to take place?”

Gesturing to me, he answered, “Come quickly. I shall show thee, hence.”

**. . . . .**

There was a crowd already forming to view the spectacle. Leah was escorted to the pyre by two big brutes, and tied to a stake. What could I do—burn the ropes with my screwdriver, sonic the guards silly, or try reasoning with the mob? As I went over my options, Leah spotted me and yelled in Quileute. Percival looked at me, his eyes wide.

“The witch speaks,” someone shouted.

“Burn her!” another added.

“She doth cast a spell,” a third person taunted.

Nah … well, actually, she said: _Put that damn screwdriver away. I’m going to phase, so get ready._

And she did … the ropes tore apart, and bounding into the shocked crowd, she raced to me. _Hop on, ET. We’re outta here._

“Whaaaat?”

_I said—get your butt up onto my back, and hurry before the shock wears off and they start chasing us._

Obeying her orders, I mounted the silver wolf. _Hi-ho, Silver! Allons-y!_ We bloody well flew back to the TARDIS. Leah stopped to let me dismount, then followed me through the door. Once inside, she scampered away to shed her fur and don some clothes. By the time she returned, I had set the TARDIS to her own earth time, well, maybe a bit earlier. All right, a lot earlier. I had a surprise in store for her.

........

A/N: Illustrations, manips by LOS


	14. Face to Face

  

Banner by LOS

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

% % % % %

Leah was by my side shortly. “What a rush, huh?”

“Hold on … you were nearly, bloody well burnt to a cinder.”

“So what? It didn’t happen, did it? Score one for the shape-shifter. I mean, gawd, I met the King of England, Henry VIII, for Pete’s sake.”

“Oi, I know. And I believe he fancied you too.”

Leaning her back against the control console, she quipped, “Ya think? I ruined his plans of seduction, tho’. He wasn’t gonna lord it over me. Arrogant prick!”

I chuckled at her enthusiasm, then turned to my computer station.

“Whaddaya doin’?”

“Checking history. No mention of the witch that escaped her death. Ah, well, even so, they were a superstitious lot. When you think about it though, the Tudors ultimately furthered science and the arts.”

“Yeah, swords, and corsets and poisonous potions.”

“You forgot Shakespeare, Lady Leah.”

A comment accompanied her eye-roll. “Oh, gawd, don’t call me that.”

**. . . . .**

Looking over my shoulder, she asked, “So where to now, spaceman?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Great, I love surprises.”

“Oh, you’ll love this one, all right. By the way, did you ever think what it would be like to meet your ancestors?”

Her mouth dropped open as she whirled about, clutching the console in a death grip. Then she sputtered, “Are you serious?”

“Well, do you?”

“Is the sky blue?”

“Well, actually, the light from the sun …”

“Stop, please.”

“Okay then. Next stop, _ancestry.com_.”

% % %% %

We plunked down in La Push just before dark. The place didn’t look to be much different—a few less houses, but a lot more boats and fishing nets.

Doctor stayed in the TARDIS while I scurried out the door. “Leah,” he shouted behind me. “Hold on … who will you visit?”

Halting for a moment, I faced him. “My great-grandma Young. My dad always said I looked a lot like her.”

“I guess you’ll find out for sure now, eh? Wait—let me tweak the time adjuster. When was she born?”

“1929, I think.”

Fiddlin’ with one of the many knobs, he declared, “There, done. Oh, and don’t be mucking about searching for an old lady. She should be about your age today. It’s 1949, and they’re celebrating _Quileute Days_. Good luck finding her.”

I raised both hands. “Got my fingers crossed.”

**. . . . .**

I didn’t know where to look for her, so I stopped a fisherman, and asked for the Young’s residence. I was anxious to meet her. I never got to see her in this life. She died before I was born.

The house I was directed to was empty, dammit, but I could see flames in the distance—a bonfire—burning in the very same spot where we always held it. Like a moth to that flame, I trotted over to the assembly and scrutinized all the faces. Incidentally, all eyes were staring at me, and not ’cuz of the clothes I was wearin’—Doctor had an appropriate buckskin outfit for me to put on—but ’cuz of the family resemblance.

I heard her before I saw her; the laugh almost an echo of my own. It was startling to realize that she was my great grandmother. The same features … the dark eyes, and hair mirrored mine, taking my breath away. Dad was right; the resemblance was striking.

Slowly moving forward, I finally sat down beside her. She looked up at me, eyes round as chocolate donuts.

“Yeah, I know,” I said in Quileute. “They say everyone has a twin somewhere, so I guess this is the day you meet yours.”

I put out my hand, “Leah Clearwater.”

“Ruth Marie Young,” she replied, taking my hand. “If you don’t mind my asking, where are you from? Your accent isn’t from here.”

I never thought of that. Of course, slang would be thrown into the language, or phrases corrupted, so, I lied, “No, I’ve lived in Hoquiam for a while.”

That seemed to satisfy her, ’cuz she changed the subject. “Are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” _You for one._ Oh, gawd, I had to think quick. “The Atearas.” There was bound to be one of them around.

One hand went to her mouth. “Oh, I’m so sorry. They’ve all gone to a wedding in Seattle. You can stay with us if you’d like. I’m sure my mother won’t mind.”

“That’s okay, I’ll just stay with another relative.”

A hush suddenly settled over the people as the chief began expounding on the history of the tribe, and of the spirit warrior, Taha Aki. I took a long gander at the speaker. Was that Ephraim Black? I couldn’t remember the genealogy of this place. I should’ve paid better attention to the stories handed down.

Ruth canted her head toward me. “Do you believe any of this nonsense?”

If she only knew. She was sitting next to a spirit warrior right this minute. “You’d better believe I do.”

**. . . . .**

When the remaining embers gave up the last snap, crackle and pop, the group began the trek back to their various homes. I said goodbye to my great-grandmother, my heart full of gratitude to the Doctor for bringin’ me here.

I found my way back to the TARDIS, the Doctor smiling broadly as I entered.

“So, it went well, I take it.” 

“Yeah, it was … I can’t even put it into words.”

 

“Brilliant!”

% % % % %

Over dinner, Leah was still on about her visit with the past. I decided then and there to give her one last hurrah before we had to part.

“You told me that you really missed your father. What would you say if I allowed you to see him one more time?”

Her fork dropped to the plate with a loud clink. “What?”

“Well … I could arrange it. That is, it would have to be a time when your former self wasn’t gadding about.”

 

Her eyes teared up, as she said, “Let me think about it, Doc. I’ll get back to ya later on tonight.”

**. . . . .**

Leah stared at the console, saying, “I was trying to remember a time when I wasn’t with my dad, then whammo, it came to me. One July 4th, two years ago, my mom and Seth went over to the Black’s to set up for a party. Dad was goin’ fishin’; I lied and told Mom, I was goin’ with him. Instead, I went to see Sam. Dad thought I was at the Black’s with my mom, and she thought I went fishin’ with Dad.

“They were both so busy that day, that they never had time to find out where the hell I’d actually gotten to.

“I wish now, that I’d been in that boat with him. I never dreamed he’d be taken away from me in six short months.”

“Well, then, now’s your chance. Do you want to go right this minute? I can arrange it—bish-bosh.”

“Can I sleep on it tonight?”

“Wise move.”

**. . . . .**

The TARDIS did her _timey-wimey_ thing, and I was out the door, bright and early. I waited around, hiding from view ’til I saw _myself_ climbing out the window on the way to the Uley’s. That was freaky to say the least.

Mom and Seth got in the car, and so, I walked on down to the backyard, where Dad left our boat, already hitched to the Ateara’s Tundra. There he was, about to step up into the cab. I almost choked on my tears.

“Dad,” I yelled. “Don’t go yet. I want to go with you.”

“Eh? I thought you were headed to the Black’s with your mother.”

“No, I decided I’d rather be with you.”

“Hop aboard then. The fish are waiting.”

**. . . . .**

Dad turned to me. “What brought this on?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean … I guessed you’d be sneaking over to the Uley’s place to see Sammie.”

“You knew, huh?”

“I’m not blind yet, Lee.”

“Didn’t say you were. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about seein’ another guy.”

“Good, glad to hear it. You’re too good for that Uley kid.”

“By the way, can I meet this other guy?”

“Not yet.” _Not yet; not ever, Dad. I wish you could._

**. . . . .**

Baiting the hook, I asked, “Hey, Dad, why is it that we have no photos of great grandma Young?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, “Hmmmn … there used to be a beautiful framed portrait of her, in that sepia color. I think that’s what they call it. Anyway, it was destroyed when the house burned to the ground. You know, I’ve told you once or twice how much you look like her. You’re probably sick of hearing me say that, eh?”

“No, I love to hear it.”

Dad reeled in his line; it was empty. He leaned toward me. “Can you shove the bucket a little closer to me? Damn thing ran off with the bait. Clever little sucker.”

He whistled as he re-baited his hook.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure, fire away,” he said, while casting the fishing line into the murky water.

I followed suit and cast my line on the opposite side of the boat.

“Are you happy? What I mean is, was there anything in your life that you really wanted to do, but didn’t get to?”

“Oh, let’s see now. At one time I was in a band called, _The Rowdies_.”

“Nooo … are you kiddin’ me? I didn’t know that. How come you never said anything about it?”

“Aah,  I didn’t want to boast, but you know, we were a real hot commodity for a few months, even got a gig on the radio.”

“Well, what happened?”

“Sue got pregnant with you, and so, I sold my guitar and amps to pay the doc.”

“Gosh, Dad, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, I don’t regret it. You and Seth are the best things that ever happened to me, besides your mother. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

He winked at me and smiled. “I guess I’m saying, that yeah, I’m happy.”

“Whatever became of _The Rowdies_?”

“I heard that Clarence got picked up by _The Gypsy Dogs_ , Daniel joined _The ‘Hunky’ Dories_ , and Isaac got married and moved to Oregon. So much for our fame and fortune …”

“But it could’ve been.”

“But then I wouldn’t have you and Seth. You’re worth more to me than all the fame and glory this world has to offer.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do, and I make no bones about. it”

“Gawd, I love you, Dad. I don’t ever say it, but I hope you know that.”

“Sure.” Pointing at my rod bobbin’ up and down, he said, “Oh, hey, looks like you have a bite there.”

**. . . . .**

We floated lazily on the lake, talkin’ and fishin’ for a couple of hours. When we got home, Dad tried to shoo me away. “You go on, now. I know how you hate gutting and scaling fish.”

“No, I wanna help” Grinnin’ at him, I added, “Besides, I caught the majority of them.”

“Rub it in, Lee. Rub it in.”

**. . . . .**

Finished with cleaning the catch, I realized that Mom and Seth would be returning soon. I hesitated to leave yet, staring at him; cementing his image into my brain.

Placing the fish in an ice-filled bucket, he looked up at me. “You all right, Lee?”

Crap—I wasn’t, and the tears were threatening to burst free. I gave him a big hug to hide my face from him. “Bye, Dad. I’m goin’ over to Sam’s for a while.”

“You landed most of the main dish, so just be sure to come over to the Black’s for dinner. You know how your mom gets when you put Sam ahead of family.”

Strugglin’ to get the words out, I answered, “Yeah, sure.”

I turned back once to look at him before leaving, then I ran back to the TARDIS as the tears flooded my eyes.

. . . . .

**A/N: In reality, the Quileute ceremonial clothing is usually a red fabric with a cloak over it, and a basket-type headdress. Pictures were scarce, so I used my poetic license.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. By the Light of the Moon

  

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight/ R. Davies et al, BBC Comm. own rights to Dr. Who

Banner by LOS

A/N: My apologies to the author of The Owl and the Pussycat, for tampering with the words of the poem.

% % % % %

I stood inside the TARDIS right in front of the console, knowing full well that Leah would be in need of a hug, and sure enough …

My arms opened wide to receive her, and she sobbed into the fabric of my suit. Blimey, but I didn’t think she stopped to take a blooming breath. My suit was bound to shrink in the torrent of all that salt water.

When she finally pulled away, I handed her my handkerchief.

Leah sniffled as she dabbed at her tears. “Oh gawd, I ruined your suit. I’m so sorry.”

“No matter. The suit can be replaced. I have a great tailor on Cinti Sola.”

Putting my hands in my pockets, I backed against the controls. “You got to see your father then?”

“Yeah, I spent the whole afternoon with him. With a swipe of the handkerchief, she wiped away more salty trails on her cheeks. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You’ve thanked me enough by being here and sharing all this with me.”

**. . . . .**

That night after we retired to our rooms, I got out the necklace I had purchased for her; just staring at it. Blimey, how was I going to say goodbye? Both my hearts were breaking in two, one for her and one for myself. I was not looking forward to the long, lonely road ahead.

I put the necklace back in the dresser drawer and walked to the wall separating our rooms. She was in there, peacefully unaware that this would be our last night together. _Oh, Leah, how I wish you could stay with me._

__

Pressing my cheek and hand to the wall, I sighed—a lump the size of planet Skibor stuck in my throat. After tomorrow morning, we would never see each other again, and that was the way it had to be. It was my destiny to travel alone … the last of the Time Lords.

I couldn’t fathom another companion. What would be the point? There was no one in this universe to fill Leah’s shoes. How could I even try to replace her? Why would I even wish to?

Emotionally bankrupt, I lay down to experience a sleepless night.

**. . . . .**

I tried to act nonchalant at breakfast, but it didn’t come off that way. My rapid heart rates probably telegraphed a warning to Leah that something was wrong.

“What’s up, Doc?”

“Well … I have a little memento to give to you.”

Holding up the trinket for her to view, I told her, “I hope that whenever you look at this it’ll remind you of Gallifrey and the man who fell to earth in the blue police box.”

She stood up abruptly, and fumed, “Now, wait just a damn minute, ET. Are you ditchin’ me?”

“Lee, I’m sorry, but I only promised you one trip. I can’t say that it hasn’t been bloody brilliant, but all good things must come to an end.”

With fire in her eyes, she spouted, “And what if I don’t want it to end?”

“It’s impossible. You can’t stay with me, no matter how much I wish you could.”

“I don’t believe this. You are so freakin’ heartless for someone who has _two_ of them.”

“Oi, I warned you, Leah. We could only be together for a short jaunt.”

Leah, sat back down, shaking her head. “Yeah, you warned me, but so what? I want to stay with you forever.”

“See? That’s just it. I can stay with you for all of your life, but you can’t stay for all of mine. Will you listen for a minute? I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end, you get tired; tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everyone you love turn to dust. If you live long enough the only certainty left is that you’ll end up alone.”

“There seems to be a miscommunication here, Doctor. What makes you think you can’t spend the rest of your life with me?”

“You are human, Lee; I’m a Gallifreyan, and I walk in eternities … by myself. That’s the curse of the Time Lords.”

“So?”

“So, I can’t watch you die.”

She began to laugh.

“Hold on … what’s so funny?”

“I guess you haven’t heard.”

“Heard what?”

“As long as I keep phasing, I’ll never grow old or get sick or die. Ha, I guess you don’t know everything after all, huh?”

 “Whaaaaat?”

“Whaddya mean, what?”

“I mean, why didn’t you say as much before this?”

“’Cuz, idiot, I thought you already knew, bein’ an outer space genius and all.”

“Oh yes, I _am_ a bloody genius, but I can’t be apprised of every little minute detail. Besides, you said so yourself, your tribe has kept the secret for centuries, well … maybe just one and a half centuries. Anyway, I am not a detective, although I probably could jolly well start an agency.”

“Stooooop! You’re getting’ off track there, ET. The question is: Do you want me to go?”

“Absolutely not.”

She then asked the million dollar question, and this time I had the answer. “Do you _love_ me?”

% % % % %

He threw his hands up in the air. “Yes, I love you to the lost moon of Poosh and back.”

“Okay, then. Whaddya gonna do about it?”

“Well, I …”

“You what?” I slowly moved forward, intruding into his personal space. “Go on. I’m listenin’.”

“I … I … Oi, you’ve tied up my tongue.”

“That’s a first. Speak up, spaceman, I can’t hear you—in any language.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to do something that needs no translation.”

He reached out and grabbed me by the waist, crushing me to his chest. Our lips met, and I swear to god, I saw the Milky Way.

**. . . . .**

When neither of us could breathe properly, the Doctor released me, an embarrassed look on his face.

“You’re blushin’, Doc. What’s the matter?”

If you are going to stay with me, then I have something of particular importance to ask you, and well, being an insane alien bloke and all, I can’t be sure of your answer. Well, not that you’ve ever been evasive, at least not to my knowledge. I mean, you just come right out and speak your mind …”

“Doctor?”

“Hmn …?”

“You were going to say?”

He burst out with, “Will you marry me?”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

The Doctor looked crushed. “No?”

Pointing my index finger in his face, I complained, “No—what kind of crap proposal was that? Get on your knees and beg. And where the hell’s my ring?”

My space idiot rummaged thru one of his extensive jacket pockets and retrieved a huge diamond. Placing his palm outward to display the gem, he asked, “Will this do? You can have it set however you want.”

“Looks okay to me. Now, get on your knees, ET.”

Somehow, I thought this event would be more … I don’t know, romantic I guess, but whatever. I loved the big goof, much to my amazement.

I watched as he knelt down. “Leah Clearwater, I’ve searched the galaxies, never daring to dream of love. And then out of the blue, I landed on La Push, and thank the stars, I finally found my match. I promise to love you, and you alone, for time and all eternity. Not even the Daleks could exterminate my love for you. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!”

“There’s one thing more ...”

Doctor whispered in my ear. “If you’re to be my wife, then you should know my real name.    It’s …”

He looked up at my face, smilin’ at me. “You are now, the only person in existence who knows my identity, Lee, and the only one I trust with that knowledge.”

“Can I call you JT?”

With a furrowed brow, he said, “Hmn … JT … I like it.”

**. . . . .**

The Doctor took the rock to a jeweler and paid for the wedding band with another gem. The shop owner was in a hurry to get his hands on the emerald that my spaceman had waved in front of the greedy man’s eyes. Needless to say, the band was ready and waitin’ for us that afternoon. My man wasted no time, and the next day, we stood before Old Quil with a few family members in attendance to see us tie the knot.

“Jaron Tokrit Sark, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

He grinned at me, as I repeated the vow—in Quileute of course.

During the short ceremony, my mom cried her eyes out. I whispered to Doctor, “I just wish my dad could’ve been here, or at least have met you.”

“He did.”

My head jerked at that revelation.

Doctor explained, “Well, I couldn’t have him think you were hooking up with a stranger, so I went back in time to see him when you were getting gussied up for the wedding. I thought about bringing him here today, but that would have caused a bleeding uproar of epic proportions; cataclysmic events, universally speaking. Your mom would’ve wanted him to stay, the whole tribe would have more secrets, and it might’ve caused another tear in the space-time      continuum …”

I stomped my foot. “Never mind all that crap. What did he say?”

“He said, _I think you’ll be good for my Leah_. Then he winked, and added, _for a paleface, eh? Despite that, you have my blessing.”_

“So he liked you, then?”

Extending his arms, he brayed, “What’s not to like? I’m the Doctor. I’m bloody brilliant!”

I tapped him on the shoulder. “You!”

% % % % %

**The Doc and the wolfgirl went to see,**

**The stars in a big blue box,**

**They each brought their honey, and oodles of money,**

**Wrapped up in Doc’s argyle socks.**

**They dined on sjins, and slices of quince,**

**Which they ate with a runcible spoon,**

**And hand in hand, at the edge of the sand,**

**They danced to the light of the moon, the moon,**

**They danced to the light of the moon.**

% % % % %

Oi … actually, it wasn’t any ordinary moon, which by the way is a misnomer. Moons are satellites, so if there are more than one orbiting a planet, which _one_ would be the moon?  Anyway, it was the recently re-discovered, lost moon of Poosh. Weeeelll—we did dance though, and travel among the stars, and will continue, one adventure at a time, until the last wisp of time fades into the void. And so, this ends the tale of the wolfgirl and me, the lonely alien chap who borrowed her and never ever, gave her back.

I am the Man from Gallifrey, last of the Time Lords, forever destined to travel the cosmos, but happily, no longer alone.

 

.........

N/A: It's not over yet, Whovians. Epilogue to follow.  
 


	16. Epilogue

 

 Banner by LOS

 

 

Flash Forward Five Years:

It was our five year anniversary, well, not for our wedding day, but for the day I accidentally popped into Miss Clearwater’s life. As a surprise, I plotted a course for the planet, Tropyco, where I had rented a room for a few days. I made sure we got the bridal suite, and the proprietor did not disappoint.

**. . . . .**

The day was beautiful, and Leah and I were lapping up warmth from the star shining on the Western hemisphere. The breeze brought the fragrance of the frangipani and plumeria to our respective noses, and everything was right on _this_ world until …

Leah all at once sat up from the blanket we were lying on. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“That rustling noise.”

She turned her head toward the lush greenery that surrounded us. “There it is again. I can’t believe you don’t hear that. Maybe we should move.”

“Hold on … I like it here. Look at all this green. Besides, it’s probably just another couple of blue coconuts, dropping out of the sky to bean me.”

I cocked one eyebrow suggestively, and pulled her back down to the blanket, covering that sweet face with kisses. I finally heard the rustle, then a hiss, but it was too late. The purple camba sunk its fangs into my ankle, then sped away. This was it, blast it all.

“Oh, gawd, JT, it bit you. Is it lethal?”

“Afraid so. That was a purple camba.”

She sprang up. “We have to get you to a hospital.”

“No, it’s too far, and I don’t have that long. Twenty minutes, maybe less, and there’s no guarantee that antivenin will be available. Just help me get back to the TARDIS.”

**. . . . .**

I felt my skin flushing, the burning pain shooting through my body.

Arriving at the TARDIS, I said, “I’m so, so sorry, Leah. It’s starting.”

 

“Starting? What’s starting? What are you talkin’ about?”

“I’m regenerating. You need to step away. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

With my head tipped back, the energy pulsed through me, out my eyes, my fingertips, my toes. Leah let out a gasp, and rightly so. It wasn’t every day a person witnessed a man going supernova.

 Through it all, I thought, _I’ll always remember when the Doctor was me_.

As I _grew_ a new head, I saw Leah run outside the door of the TARDIS, not that I blamed her. Oh, yes, she agreed to ’til death do us part, but not ’til the old body _parts_.  

When the process completed, I went into the wardrobe. Dressing in a hurry, I donned shirt, bowtie—now don’t point a finger at me; bowties are cool—suspenders, jacket, slacks, leather shoes, then rushed out the door searching for my wife.

“Leah,” I yelled when I spotted her.

“Don’t come any closer,” she said in a trembling voice, holding her palm out. “Where is _my_ Doctor?”

Extending my arms out to the sides, I explained, “The face is different, but underneath it’s still me.”

 

She backed up further. “No, this is just too much to take in.”

“You have to trust me. We’ve been through a lot together. Same mind, different body. I swear it’s true. But, come along, Leah and see what I prepared for this eventuality.”

Leah cautiously followed me to the control center. “Remember I told you about the perception filter? I fashioned one up, just in case I bloody-well had to regenerate. I held up a key and slipped it onto a chain. Putting it around my neck, I asked, “Better?”

Her eyes blinked in astonishment, as _her_ Doctor appeared before her … as he was, minutes before he changed. “How did you …?”

“Oi, I’m the Doctor, and I’m bloody brilliant!”

That beautiful smile broke across her face like the dawn on Trillo Mar. “Yeah, you are.”

Nodding, I remarked, “Now, let’s go back and finish our holiday.”

% % % % %

After we left the hotel on the last day, I watched as Doctor pulled the lever to jettison us into outer space. Instead of the usual, allons-y, he shouted, “Geronimo”, and that was all right with me. I had all of eternity to get used to the new spaceman in my life, my Doctor, Jaron Tokrit Sark, the alien with a sonic screwdriver and blue box, the man from Gallifrey.

**THE END**

 

****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     
 

 


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